ANSWER

No wonder you are confused, but I wouldn't go accusing your partner of fooling around just yet. This sudden onset of extreme tightness may be a condition called "vaginismus". Vaginismus is a spasm in the musculature of the outer third of the vagina which makes insertion difficult or impossible. For some women, this muscle spasm is painful; for others, it is not.


According to the Mount Sinai Hospital (Toronto, Canada) website: "It is widely believed that in most cases of vaginismus, the spasm is triggered either by pain or the anticipation of pain (emotional or physical pain). Much like the way an eyelid closes when something comes to close to the eye or a muscle flinches in response to an imminent punch, vaginismus is like a vaginal flinch.


It is in some sense protecting the area, even though the woman doesn't want it to. Some women have fears or guilt regarding intercourse, others have physical pain problems, and still others have no obvious cause for their condition. One perplexing aspect of vaginismus is that often the spasm remains long after the woman has dealt with any anxieties or physical problems. So learning to control and eliminate this spasm is how one cures vaginismus."


In your partner's case, if she is indeed experiencing vaginismus, it could well have been precipitated by the extra large dildo you played with shortly before her new "tightness" came about, now her vagina may be trying to protect itself.

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ANSWER

For most women sex and love are almost always closely connected. For them any sexual act is an expression of love, either a giving or receiving of love, or sometimes a search for it. For some men, sexual acts can be completely disconnected from any emotional feelings, a purely physical activity with no emotional significance. I am guessing that is the case with you because of how you worded the question. For such a man, it may be, and often is the case, that their heart will open to feeling emotions, affection and love only after a satisfying sexual encounter including an ejaculation. For some unfortunate men (and for their unfortunate women) they won’t allow themselves to feel anything, ever, even after great physical sex.