February 8, 2010

She is so tight now that I have a hard time getting in.

I have been with the same woman for about seven years we have a child together and have lived together for almost as long. My question is about how tight her vagina is. I am not very thick down there and she has always felt good but never real tight until about a week ago. She is now so tight I have a hard time getting in at first even if we use lubrication. Also we did use a very large toy about 2 weeks ago and for a day or two she was looser than she ever had been and then she was tighter than she ever had been and she says she does not know why she is so tight. I am wondering if maybe she had been cheating and has now stopped or what it all has me kind of confused.

ANSWER

No wonder you are confused, but I wouldn't go accusing your partner of fooling around just yet. This sudden onset of extreme tightness may be a condition called "vaginismus". Vaginismus is a spasm in the musculature of the outer third of the vagina which makes insertion difficult or impossible. For some women, this muscle spasm is painful; for others, it is not.

According to the Mount Sinai Hospital (Toronto, Canada) website: "It is widely believed that in most cases of vaginismus, the spasm is triggered either by pain or the anticipation of pain (emotional or physical pain). Much like the way an eyelid closes when something comes to close to the eye or a muscle flinches in response to an imminent punch, vaginismus is like a vaginal flinch.

It is in some sense protecting the area, even though the woman doesn't want it to. Some women have fears or guilt regarding intercourse, others have physical pain problems, and still others have no obvious cause for their condition. One perplexing aspect of vaginismus is that often the spasm remains long after the woman has dealt with any anxieties or physical problems. So learning to control and eliminate this spasm is how one cures vaginismus."

In your partner's case, if she is indeed experiencing vaginismus, it could well have been precipitated by the extra large dildo you played with shortly before her new "tightness" came about, now her vagina may be trying to protect itself.