Ask About Love and Sex | Your relationship, love and sex questions answered… » tantra

The more I touch her, the more I get stimulated

Al Link — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 11:16:47 +0000

Last fall, my wife and I took the Introduction to Tantra course from you and Pala. I have one quick question that I hope you can help me with.

She needs much more foreplay than I do; I fall into the perhaps “typical” male behavior of being ready for sex at any time. She likes slow, grounded touches prior to lovemaking, and these touches are best if done over the course of a day, or at least a period of several hours. My problem is that the more I touch her, the more I get stimulated. This means I either over stimulate her or end up in discomfort myself. I have worked on breathing as well as the external prostate massage, but don’t think I’m yet all the way there. So, I’m wondering if you have any tips on this situation.

ANSWER

Here are a few things to consider.

Beware of the goal orientation in lovemaking. The goal orientation means you are focused on getting somewhere other than where you are, i.e., that is usually to penetration and ultimately to orgasm, typically with ejaculation for the man. This means you would be using everything as a means to an end, in other words, touching her in order to get her turned on so you can get inside. She will know this in ways that are mysterious and unexplainable; you can’t fool her on this. The alternative is to be in the now moment, fully present in what you are doing, for itself, not just as a means to an end. Touching her is all you are doing, not touching her to get her turned on, to get inside her; same with kissing, conversation, dancing, etc.
Your other challenge is to gain mastery with the hot sexual energy. The discomfort you are describing is because you have not learned how to move the hot sexual energy up through your body, away from your genitals, particularly the prostate. To successfully move the hot sexual energy you will need many repetitions (e.g., 100 per day), of PC squeezing, i.e., squeezing as if you were stopping the flow of urine. You can use the full passion pump exercise that you learned in the Tantra Introduction Workshop with all the parts including breathing, visualization, PC pump, cranial pump, moving hands up the body, relaxation of the entire body (except for the one muscle you want to squeeze, e.g., the perineum), harmonizing breath with your partner, holding eye contact, etc.
Try the internal prostate massage! It is far superior to the external prostate massage through the perineum.

4freedoms@tantraloving.com
www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com
www.tantra-sex.com

I wonder if this course will do the same for my sexual life with my girlfriend

Al Link — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 06:14:50 +0000

I am a lesbian girl. I wonder if this course (Tantra Home Study Course and Kama Sutra Home Study Course) will do the same for my sexual life with my girlfriend

ANSWER

The practices for working with sexual energy, for increasing intimacy and heart opening emotional connection, for merging physically, emotionally, energetically, and spiritually, and for spiritual awakening all the way to enlightenment, work for anyone, straight or gay, male or female, and any combination of those partners. Yes they will work for you and your lesbian girlfriend.

Our home study courses are excellent for all couples regardless of sexual preferences.

Tantra Sex Step By Step DVD Preview

Kama Sutra Super Sex DVD Preview

4freedoms@tantraloving.com
www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com
www.tantra-sex.com

What are the differences between the Kama Sutra and Tantra?

Al Link — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:53:21 +0000

What are the differences between the Kama Sutra and Tantra?

Tantra is a form of yoga. Tantra is a spiritual practice through which the lovers seek the direct realization that they are God and Godess—in the Indian pantheon Shiva/Shakti. Some Tantric practices, but certainly not all of them, include sacred sexuality. Kama Sutra sex is not sacred sex, not a spiritual practice, it is just great sex. Tantra, at least in its oral tradition, pre-dates the Kama Sutra by several thousand years. Both Tantra and the Kama Sutra originated in India. They also both emphasize similar sexual techniques such as slowing down, extending the lovemaking for long periods of time (over a course of hours, not just fifteen minutes), mastery of breath, men delaying ejaculation, etc.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Sexual Energy Grounding Exercise

Al Link — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 15:58:53 +0000

Sexual Energy Grounding Exercise

Grounding is a very effective process for calming and stabilizing. Grounding connects you with the earth, carrying overpowering negative energies down and away much like a lightning rod. There are many methods for grounding. Try this one daily, as often as you think of it. Even if you don’t “feel” anything while you are doing it notice the difference grounding makes to your overall sense of well-being. Grounding is also an excellent practice whenever you are feeling sexually “wound-up”:

Sitting or standing, with your body relaxed, take a slow breath in through your nose.
Gently exhale through your mouth.
Focus your attention on the top of your head (your crown chakra).
Picture a funnel on the top of your head through which vital energy from the cosmos flows into your body—this is powerful, masculine, active energy.
As this sun and sky energy travels down through your body it gives you strength and vitality.
As it passes it also gathers up any negative energies you may be feeling—anger, lethargy, hyperactivity, grief, anxiety, fear.
Now focus your attention on your genitals (your root chakra) and picture a funnel there—with the small end of the funnel inside your body and the mouth of the funnel pointing down to the earth.
Allow the energy to flow through your lower funnel, away and down into the center of Mother Earth, taking with it all your tension; leaving vigor and calm in its wake.
Continue to visualize energy flowing in through your head, down through your body and out into the earth—bringing vitality and serenity and taking away stress.
Do this for a minimum of 3 minutes at a time.

Excerpted from our book Soul Sex: Tantra for Two

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Tantric Devotional Presence in Daily Living

Al Link — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 12:52:26 +0000

LivingTantra.net blog offers an intelligent suggestion for bringing the devotional quality of your attention into the daily activities of being in a body and living in this world. The author compares this state of conscious mindfulness with the fast-paced, addictive behaviors that are so much more common, but which leave us all exhausted and stressed out. By contrast, a devotional attention to all the details from moment to moment, e.g., taking time to actually smell the roses, is what Ram Das refers to as “be here now” or Tantric and Chan master Daniel Odier refers to as “micro practices” which simply means being fully present from moment to moment, with your full attention right here, right now. It is a state of being rather than doing, and being while doing. You are not trying to escape from your body (as if it were a prison) seeking after some imagined spiritual liberation that separates you from this material world.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra