I already read Voluntary Ejaculation and Multiple Orgasm by Al Link and Pala Copeland.  I am working on the orgasm without the ejaculation.  Please let me know if there is another book which I could work with that has more exercises so I could have faster results.

ANSWER

Learning ejaculation mastery takes patience. For most men, you would be looking at a minimum of 6 months and perhaps 2 years of continuous practice before you will be able to reliably separate orgasm from ejaculation, thus enabling you to have multiple orgasms without ejaculating.

Besides our eBook, Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, which you already have, here are some other resources to help you learn ejaculation mastery.

Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia was the book I originally learned from.

The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia is another excellent guide. This later book by Mantak Chia is a bit more laid back. His earlier work Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, was a very disciplined, martial arts approach. If you are only getting one of his books, I recommend Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, as it is more detailed and complete.

You may also wish to consult this excellent instructional video on strengthening the erection and delaying ejaculation. I highly recommend this video!

TANTRIC YOGA & SEXUAL KUNG FU FOR MEN by Loren Johnson.

Loren has been a long-time student of Mantak Chia.

ANSWER

It’s normal when you have a “major crush” on someone to experience the kind of mind and body responses that you are. To get past them switch your focus from yourself to him — what kind of things is he interested in? Think of some topics of conversation in advance and practice them.
Also use this Grounding practice to calm yourself, it is from an amazing teacher and healer: Denis Chagnon. I practice Grounding as often as I think about it — it’s a fabulous practice for overall health and wellbeing.
Being grounded means being fully present: physically, emotionally and energetically. It means your mind is not wandering or pulling your energy elsewhere.
Basic Grounding Practice

• Sit or stand comfortably.  Take a few deep breaths down into your belly (hara), expanding your belly with each inhalation, and relaxing with each exhalation.
• Focus your attention on your Root Chakra.   With each inhalation contract the muscles of the perineum inward, and with each exhalation, relax.  With practice, it will become second nature after a few months. (*The perineum is the area between the anus and the genitals, and contracting this area feels like holding pee.)
• Next, bring the energy up from your perineum (root chakra) to your ovaries, visualizing a triangle of energy from the root chakra to the ovaries.  There is no specific breathing technique for this process.  You may bring the energy up to the ovaries on the inhalation, or on the exhalation, whichever feels most natural for you. For men, this energy is brought to the energetic ovaries, as the etheric body is the same in both men and women.  When the 1st and 2nd chakras are connected in this way, it creates a powerful energetic force and a balance with the other chakras that allows us to ground, process, and integrate Light faster and more easily.
• With this powerful grounding connection, energies such as anger, anxiety, fear, sadness and even love, joy and happiness (etc.), are transformed and purified.  When an emotion comes up, feel it, bring it to the heart, and send love to the situation or person involved, bless it, and then bring it to the two base chakras for it to be transformed and released.
• When we allow ourselves to flow gracefully with the Universal force that flows downward, we are in harmony with the downward flow of the first two chakras. Grounding enables you to feel stable in your body, to flush processed emotions, other people’s energies, and dissolved energy blockages out of your system and Auric Field.
• To help you return to this grounded state more easily next time, use the process called anchoring. Touch a spot on your body that’s easy to reach and easy to remember. “Anchor” this grounded state to that spot. Later, touching that spot, as you focus on grounding, will help you return quickly to the grounded state.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Time: 2 minutes per day, every day you are together.

Lovers sit facing each other. For one minute, the first partner sends a look of love, using only the face and eyes to send the love, but not speaking any words. Later in the day or evening, the other lover sends a look of love in this same way. The partner receiving the look also remains silent.

Notes and Comments

This can be quite emotionally uncomfortable for some people, but we assure you that it becomes easy. In fact it becomes so profoundly moving, that you will become addicted to this simple exchange of love. This is a situation in which we encourage you to persist with the practice in spite of any emotional discomfort. Act to support what you want to create instead of acting to return to your emotional comfort zone as quickly as possible.

This eye gazing can result in a profoundly moving experience of emotional, energetic and spiritual connection between the lovers, especially if you are already at a peak of sexual arousal during lovemaking when you do it. However, don’t save this practice only as an accompaniment to lovemaking.

Take 2 minutes to send and receive love in this way every day you are together for the rest of your lives.

Some couples go weeks or months at a time without making this simple, yet profound connection. Making this connection every day cumulatively can transform your relationship and sustain you on a secure platform of love through any of life’s trials and tribulations.

We have found this simple practice to be the quickest surest and easiest way to open our hearts to feel love. Most of the times we look at each other in this way, when our hearts crack open, tears come to our eyes as the intense emotional feelings cause us to cry with happiness. Make no mistake, you don’t get your heart open once and for all and keep it that way. Your heart will close repeatedly, thus it must be re-opened over and over and over again. This simple practice will open your heart almost instantly.

How to Look

Gazing into each other’s eyes is not a staring contest. You will look in a particular way.

Have you ever been in a place with an absence of light? Near where we live there are some caves. Once inside these caves, there is a complete absence of light. Without light you can’t see anything. Just closing your eyelids can give you some sense of this experience, especially if you are in a dark room during the evening.

Close your eyes now. Now open your eyes, and notice how the light comes in. You don’t have to do anything for the light to come in. This is important to notice. Next, notice how you look at things, usually including your lover. You grab things with your eyes. Grabbing things means you isolate each thing and visually separate each thing from all other things. This is how you identify what something is. You must isolate it from everything else, and then you can name it, and when you name it you know it. You have grabbed it.

Looking with your eyes in this way is useful and necessary, but it is not the only way to look. Looking in this way actually sustains the perception (really an illusion) that everything is separate from everything else. This is dualistic consciousness. Dualism simply means separating one thing from another thing.

But there is another way to look, and that is like when you open your eyelids the light just comes in, without any effort or trying on your part. In this eye gazing exercise you will look in just this way, allowing the light to carry images into your field of vision, but you make no attempt to separate anything from anything else, and no attempt to name anything you see. Pay particular attention to the peripheral vision, not just the center of your field of vision where your lover is positioned.  You don’t grab anything with your eyes; you simply allow the light to carry a single whole image into your awareness.

Sexual Energy Grounding Exercise

Grounding is a very effective process for calming and stabilizing. Grounding connects you with the earth, carrying overpowering negative energies down and away much like a lightning rod. There are many methods for grounding. Try this one daily, as often as you think of it. Even if you don’t “feel” anything while you are doing it notice the difference grounding makes to your overall sense of well-being. Grounding is also an excellent practice whenever you are feeling sexually “wound-up”:

• Sitting or standing, with your body relaxed, take a slow breath in through your nose.
• Gently exhale through your mouth.
• Focus your attention on the top of your head (your crown chakra).
• Picture a funnel on the top of your head through which vital energy from the cosmos flows into your body—this is powerful, masculine, active energy.
• As this sun and sky energy travels down through your body it gives you strength and vitality.
• As it passes it also gathers up any negative energies you may be feeling—anger, lethargy, hyperactivity, grief, anxiety, fear.
• Now focus your attention on your genitals (your root chakra) and picture a funnel there—with the small end of the funnel inside your body and the mouth of the funnel pointing down to the earth.
• Allow the energy to flow through your lower funnel, away and down into the center of Mother Earth, taking with it all your tension; leaving vigor and calm in its wake.
• Continue to visualize energy flowing in through your head, down through your body and out into the earth—bringing vitality and serenity and taking away stress.
• Do this for a minimum of 3 minutes at a time.

Excerpted from our book Soul Sex: Tantra for Two

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

]]> http://www.askaboutloveandsex.com/79-sexual-energy-grounding-exercise/feed/ 1