I have been a practitioner of yoga for quite some time now, the 'heart and crown' approach. The tantric approach seems new to me, but I need to explore it in order to deal with sex. I have developed a good control for not ejaculating, and feeling the power of the afterglow. But now I have a semen build up and its causing aches. You say to let your body absorb it, or let it flow all over the body (I have even heard it going up the spine). But what can I do to spread the sex energy from below to the rest of the body or upwards? Is there a conscious exercise? If I let it go and ejaculate it would defeat the purpose of my efforts and drain me of the energy build up, leaving me in negative instead of having energy.
ANSWER
Is sounds like you must be using control to stop the ejaculation. This is not a viable long-term strategy. Control is the enemy of ecstasy as control stops the flow of energy. The energy must move and flow if you are going to have any higher more spiritual experience. Focus your attention on what you do want, not on what you don't want. Up to now I would say you must have been focusing on what you don't want, ejaculation, but instead, focus on what you do want, to move and circulate the energy away from your genitals, up through the rest of your body.
It is like a pressure cooker in the genitals, and as the hot sexual energy builds there, it will become painful, like an inflammation, if that energy is not released. Since you are able to stop the ejaculation, you are experiencing this discomfort. However, if you successfully move the energy away from your prostate, up through the rest of your body, you will not have any of that discomfort, even if you do not ejaculate.
You move the energy by doing PC squeezes, i.e., squeeze the muscles in the genital area as if you were stopping the flow of urine mid-stream. Breath in a slow deep
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