Of course love and sex can go together, but not just any kind of sex at all; only a loving, respectful, mature, informed, knowledgeable, and skillful sexuality is a divine sexuality.


In other words there is some learning required if you are to advance or graduate from simple animal friction sex to energy sex and soul sex.


We suggest that sex is good for three reasons. First it will bring you pleasure and that is good. Second, sex actually has moral force when it is an expression of love between two people. Finally sex that becomes a meditation shared by the lovers awakens them to the direct personal experience of the divine within; a direct experience of God-consciousness or enlightenment.


The moment of illumination typically progresses from an experience of union between the lovers, to a shattering of all ego boundaries with the awakening to the direct experience that everything is one thing, and you are it; and that one thing is consciousness, not stuff.


You are not your body, you occupy a body. At the moment of illumination you realize your oneness with all and everything. When I am in that place of oneness and my beloved is in that place of oneness, there is only one of us.

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Time: 2 minutes per day, every day you are together.

Lovers sit facing each other. For one minute, the first partner sends a look of love, using only the face and eyes to send the love, but not speaking any words. Later in the day or evening, the other lover sends a look of love in this same way. The partner receiving the look also remains silent.

Notes and Comments

This can be quite emotionally uncomfortable for some people, but we assure you that it becomes easy. In fact it becomes so profoundly moving, that you will become addicted to this simple exchange of love. This is a situation in which we encourage you to persist with the practice in spite of any emotional discomfort. Act to support what you want to create instead of acting to return to your emotional comfort zone as quickly as possible.

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Sexual Energy Grounding Exercise

Grounding is a very effective process for calming and stabilizing. Grounding connects you with the earth, carrying overpowering negative energies down and away much like a lightning rod. There are many methods for grounding. Try this one daily, as often as you think of it. Even if you don’t “feel” anything while you are doing it notice the difference grounding makes to your overall sense of well-being. Grounding is also an excellent practice whenever you are feeling sexually “wound-up”:

• Sitting or standing, with your body relaxed, take a slow breath in through your nose.
• Gently exhale through your mouth.
• Focus your attention on the top of your head (your crown chakra).
• Picture a funnel on the top of your head through which vital energy from the cosmos flows into your body—this is powerful, masculine, active energy.
• As this sun and sky energy travels down through your body it gives you strength and vitality.
• As it passes it also gathers up any negative energies you may be feeling—anger, lethargy, hyperactivity, grief, anxiety, fear.
• Now focus your attention on your genitals (your root chakra) and picture a funnel there—with the small end of the funnel inside your body and the mouth of the funnel pointing down to the earth.
• Allow the energy to flow through your lower funnel, away and down into the center of Mother Earth, taking with it all your tension; leaving vigor and calm in its wake.
• Continue to visualize energy flowing in through your head, down through your body and out into the earth—bringing vitality and serenity and taking away stress.
• Do this for a minimum of 3 minutes at a time.

Excerpted from our book Soul Sex: Tantra for Two

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

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