A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost sixteen hours on the road they're too tired to continue and decide to stop at a hotel for a good night's rest. When they check out the next morning, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking with the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them", the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
More on You could haveTags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 37% [?]
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied. "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know", the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say…should we get naked?"
Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 4% [?]
An elderly couple were watching television one night when the husband said, "Doris, inflation has eaten up our Social Security checks. The next ones aren't due for another week and we don't have enough money for food. I hate to suggest this, but you're going to have to go out on the street and hustle."
"Hustle? Me?" she exclaimed. "But I'm 78!"
"It's the only way," her husband concluded sadly. Resigned to the situation, the old woman went out onto the streets and didn't come staggering home until early the next morning.
"Here," she said, "I made $3.05."
"Three dollars and five cents! Who gave you a nickel?"
"Everybody," she replied.
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:5 cents Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 3% [?]
A small white guy goes into an elevator. When he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown"
The small white guy faints!
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?".
The small white guy says: "Excuse me but what did you say?".
The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown."
The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said "'Turn around.'"
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:introduction Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 5% [?]
A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, she sees his naked body in full light for the first time. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, ‘Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left!?"
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:Flaccid Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 3% [?]
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out our air hole at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors were swimming to the safety of the shore. The male whale became enraged that they were going to getaway and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 3% [?]
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon arrival the doctor said that he had invented a machine that would transfer a portion of the labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.
They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob at 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to bump the machine up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20%.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At 50% the husband was still holding up fine, since this was obviously helping out his wife he encouraged the doctor to transfer all of the pain.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her Husband were absolutely thrilled.
Everything was great until they got home and found the mailman dead on their porch.
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 3% [?]
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
More on Ranch HandTags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 3% [?]
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type from memory. Unfortunately he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only days before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and passed out on the floor. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.
Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Always, Your eternally loving husband
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Tags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 4% [?]
Three guys, Mark, Pete, and Steve died and found themselves at the gates of paradise. The angel said, "I'll let you three inside, but on one condition. You must never step on a duck."
The three guys accepted this strange condition and went on in.
While walking on a grassy field, mark took time to look at the blue cloudless sky. Suddenly, "Quack!"
More on Stepping on ducksTags:Sexy Jokes and QuotesPopularity: 3% [?]
