I have not long lost my virginity. I was all prepared for it to hurt a little and also for bleeding but i didn’t bleed and my boyfriend asked if I have been honest with him about being a virgin. I was. Can you explain why this happens and is there anything that should of done?

ANSWER

Many women do not bleed the first time they have intercourse.

The hymen, or the vaginal corona, is a fold of mucous membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening — it’s the rupture of the hymen that causes bleeding for some women. The hymen comes in different shapes, sizes, and thicknesses. While the presence of a hymen indicates virginity, the absence of one is definitely not a proof a girl is not a virgin. It can be broken in many ways long before intercourse, for instance with penetration by fingers, using tampons, and even through strong physical exercise (Horseback riding, bicycling, high jumping, gymnastics or similar sports) or through an accident or injury.

All good things,

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ANSWER

1.  Ask for what you want. There is no need to compromise on what you need and want sexually. Depending upon how important those needs are (for example receiving oral sex from him), if he can’t or won’t help you be fulfilled sexually in the ways you desire, then move on to find a new partner.

2.  I would assume you have wounded him with any offhand comments about his penis size. Men are typically super sensitive to any such remarks, and some men find it impossible to forget or forgive. Go to any lengths to help him feel good about his penis (letting him know how much you love, admire and adore it—for example by giving him good head), to overcome any feelings of inadequacy, and performance anxiety (almost certainly this is why he might be hesitant to have sexual intercourse with you). But you must be very tactful and considerate of any sensitivity he already has and just bringing it up again could actually make things worse. So be very respectful and creative in how you do try to repair any damage to his masculine self esteem he may already have perceived.

3.  By all means please him orally if you can bring yourself to enjoy it. Learning to enjoy giving him oral sex is probably the single most important thing you can do to salvage and repair the current situation.

4.  Ignoring this and hoping it will just go away is the worst thing you could do; definitely not recommended as a viable strategy for you to follow.

This website features an academic report which includes a set of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) photos of male and female genitals during coitus and female sexual arousal. These are beutiful images of the sacred union between man and woman. Very Tantric. The authors state the purpose of the project: “To find out whether taking images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and to find out whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts.”

Author Credits

Willibrord Weijmar Schultz, associate professor of gynaecology a, Pek van Andel, physiologist b, Ida Sabelis, anthropologist d, Eduard Mooyaart, radiologist c.

a Department of Gynaecology, University Hospital Groningen, PO Box 30 001, 9700 RB Groningen, Netherlands, b Laboratory for Cell Biology and Electron Microscopy, University Hospital Groningen, c Department of Radiology, University Hospital Groningen, d Department of Business Anthropology VU, De Boelen 1081C-NL, 1081 HV, Amsterdam

Correspondence to: W Weijmar Schultz w.c.m.weymar.schultz@oprit.rug.nl

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra – Al Link and Pala Copeland