1. Physical/Hormonal: her hormones may be out of whack after pregnancy. She may be producing more prolactin and oxytocin (which are affectionate and bonding, but not sexual) and very little testosterone (which is the sex driver). This is quite common, but usually returns to pre-pregnancy levels within a year. I'd suggest she have this tested — ask her doctor. You might also try some natural libido enhancers. See our aphrodisiacs for women page for some suggestions.

2. Physical/Tired: Is she getting enough sleep? Lots of women don't get enough rest when looking after a new baby. Are there ways you can help to make sure she gets the sleep she needs. Is she getting any exercise? Exercise boosts testosterone.

3. Emotional: Sometimes women who become mothers become very tied to their babies and see themselves in a "mother" role. Issues of the morality about being a very sexual being while being a mother can come up. Try reassuring her about her sexiness, that it's a wonderful thing you enjoy, not demand. Let her know you'll do whatever you can to help her be the best she can as a mother and a lover. Make your loving advances very affectionate. Take time and care when approaching her for sex. You might consider our ebook Awakening Women's Orgasm for suggestions.

Anyway, rest assured you're not alone (although it may feel this way) and that with time, patience and understanding your partner in childrearing can again become your partner in joyous sex.

 

 

 

 

 

A bad first experience can be difficult to reverse or overcome later, so get the first time right.

There are many positions for sexual intercourse and no particular reason why you should try one first, although it is probably most common for the man to be on top the first time, but that is not any kind of rule.

Far more important is that you go slowly and not go for penetration until she is completely ready for it and wants it totally. Good indications that she is ready, willing, and able will be that she is well lubricated, moving her body (not lying still), making noise (not being quiet), pulling you tight and close with her body, and that she is asking, even begging for you to enter her.