I’m 24 years with 3 kids. My sex life with my husband its not to good. He's a kind of man who wants to have sex every night, but by the end of the day I’m so tired and with a big headache and don’t feel like having sex. The only thing I want to do at night is get to bed, get some sleep and get ready for the next day. I want to be the same and have sex with him every night. I want some answers or any tips to my question.
ANSWER
Your situation is a common one, many women share this dilemma. When you're tired and stressed, it's hard to wake up your sex drive.
You need to find ways to get more rest. Can you husband help out more with the kids and the housework? Do you have anyone else who can help you with these tasks? Is it possible to have
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I’m 24 and my wife isn't happy; .neither am I. I am on no medication at the moment. I don't want to take Viagra or anything like that as I fear I'm too young for such drugs.
ANSWER
Assuming you are without medical complications, not taking any prescription drugs, not drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, not smoking large quantities of nicotine, not obese, and that you are getting moderate amounts of physical exercise, then almost certainly your problem is performance anxiety. This is the most common cause of
erectile dysfunction, the inability to get and keep erection sufficient for sexual intercourse, and premature ejaculation (coming quickly before you or your lover are ready for it).
You are trying too hard and have become goal oriented in your lovemaking, a common trap many lovers fall into. The goal orientation to lovemaking means you are trying to get to orgasm. Some couples make it that they try to get to orgasm at the same instant so they come together. This is understandable, but most unfortunate because to get to the goal of orgasm requires a performance, e.g., the man must have an erection and keep it long enough to reach the goal. The anxiety men suffer worrying about this can easily cause them to remain soft rather than hard.
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I’m 22 and after my son was born my sex drive went away and I’m in need of help for me and my husband. He loves sex and can have it all day and I’m like ok, whatever. I don’t feel like having sex. Please help.
ANSWER
You`re not alone in feeling low sexual desire after giving birth, many women experience a decrease in libido after pregnancy. One study showed that three months after childbirth 20% of the women participants still had little desire for sex and a further 21% had a complete loss of desire for or aversion to sexual activity. There are a number of factors involved:
1. Hormonal Changes: During pregnancy, and for a while after (up to a year), your body produces different hormones and in different ratios than when you are in your regular menstrual cycle. These include increased prolactin, oxytocin and estrogen and decreased testosterone. Testosterone is a major driver for interest in sex. Prolactin and oxytocin make you want to cuddle but aren`t very sexual.
2. Other body changes: Your body needs time to heal from the birth process. Your vagina can be drier, your muscles looser, and so on. It`s a good idea to do Kegel exercises (squeezing your vaginal muscles) every day to promote muscle tone and increased sensation.
3. Being Tired: New moms don`t often get enough sleep. When you`re tired out you`re not likely to feel very sexy.
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A woman that loves sex 24/7 is called a nymphomaniac, but what is the term for a sex obsessed man?
ANSWER
Nymphomania – Women; Sytariasis - Men
In mythology, sytar were forest dwelling goat-men who would get drunk and chase the nymphs.
Hypersexuality is the desire to engage in human sexual behavior at a level high enough to be considered clinically significant. Hypersexuality is characterized by a debilitating need for frequent genital stimulation which, once achieved, may fail to result in the expected long-term sexual—or emotional—satisfaction. This dissatisfaction is what is believed to encourage the heightened frequency of sexual stimulation, as well as additional physiological and neurological symptoms.
The concept of hypersexuality replaces the older concepts of nymphomania (or furor uterinus) and satyriasis. Nymphomania was believed to be a female psychological disorder characterized by an overactive libido and an obsession with sex. In males the disorder was called satyriasis (for etymology of the words, see nymph and satyr). "Nymphomania" and "satyriasis" are no longer listed as specific disorders in the DSM-IV, though they remain a part of ICD-10.
The threshold for what constitutes hypersexuality is subject to debate, and critics question whether a standardized diagnostic threshold even exists.
Sex drive varies widely in humans; what one person would regard as a normal sex drive might be deemed to be excessive by some and low by others. The consensus among those who consider this a disorder is that the threshold is met when the behavior causes distress or impaired social functioning.
Source: www.reference.com
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It has been almost one year. My boyfriend totally lost his sex drive with me (though he said he lost libido in general, not because of me). It is frustrating that we lay on the bed but without any physical connection. I tried whatever I could think of, being sweet, being engaged, being a slut. It hurt me when he would say "sorry this is so far I can go and if this is the best we can get in relationship, we can work it out.” We had several crisis in the past one year, though we both tried hard to overcome all the crises, in relationship, in jobs, in life. It seems to me that I am able to embrace a new life, but that he refuses to move forward. Sadly, we both think we are individuals that we would consider being with for the rest of lives, but the lack of sexuality kills me in daily life. What should I do?
ANSWER
There are many reasons why a man could be impotent. This is also called erectile dysfunction (ED).
First consider there might be medical conditions causing the problem, but that is beyond what I can explain in a brief message. If he us able to get erections sometimes, then likely the problem is not medical, but if he rarely if ever gets erections no matter what the stimulation, then the problem is likely to be medical and he should seek the help of a doctor for proper diagnosis and treatment.
More likely the problem is mental, psychological. Again there can be so many possibilities that I could not go into all of them. One option is to seek counseling or coaching. We offer telephone coaching if you want to go the coaching rout. But here are a couple of suggestions to consider first.
The first step and the most important thing is that he is willing to confront his own demons and do his inner work to become fit for relationship. Every relationship problem is to some extent the result of a dynamic situation between both partners, but if he is not willing to look inside to find his own solution, there would be little that you could do. It sounds like you have tried many options without effect, so it is likely he is dealing with some internal mental situation based upon something from his past, for example possibly including sexual abuse.
He will have to be willing to see what is inside himself, and let you in on it; in other words open his heart to reveal what is going on inside him. By revealing what is going on, what he is feeling, what he can see that might be going on within himself, this is what it means to have an open heart. He may not be willing or able to do that, and if not, frankly I suggest you look elsewhere for the true love that you desire. Without doing such inner work, it is unlikely that this situation will correct itself and you could spend months or years hoping things will change.
If he is willing to share with you what is inside himself, to become emotionally vulnerable and transparent, to open his heart to you, then you have something to work with that would make it worthwhile, or at least hopeful, that together you could find a resolution, allowing him to have a more normal male sexual response to your healthy female sexual needs and desires.
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I have been together with my man for around 3 years. He was a virgin before he knows me and we used to have rather frequent sex. However, things changed for the past 1 year, ever since I'm back from my 6 months overseas exchange, we seldom does it (once a month). And the reasons he gave is that the urge is lesser as he grows older (and mind you he is just 22!)and that he is simply not as horny as the other guys. I am not sure if its true…
ANSWER
There are several possibilities.
Age 22 is prime sexuality age (typically with hormones raging and sex drive at a maximum) so “getting older” is not the cause of the problem.
1. His testosterone level may have dropped suddenly due to some undiagnosed medical condition, or if he has started taking some medication, that could explain the sudden change in his libido. He can have his medical status checked by his physician. If a medical condition is diagnosed, he can begin treatment. If low libido is related to some prescription drug he is taking, then his physician may be able to change his prescription so drugs will not interfere with his libido to the same extent.
2. Heavy recreational drug use can also seriously interfere with libido. If this is the cause, reducing the drug consumption should restore libido within a few days to two weeks. Drugs known to interfere with libido (reduce sexual desire) and sexual performance (e.g., interfere with getting and keeping erections) include heavy use of nicotine (cigarette smoking), THC (marijuana and hashish), alcohol, caffeine (coffee and tea), and combinations of these drugs can be the worst scenario.
3. He may have lost interest in you, so you do not turn him on sexually any longer, indicating, the relationship could be near the end, unless you find out the reason and correct it. While you were gone he may have started to have sexual relations with other partners. Ask him directly about this possibility, and mutually agree on a desired course of action. While you were gone, you may have had other sexual partners and this may be bothering him with strong negative emotions, thus reducing his libido. If this is the case you must somehow reassure him so he feels again secure and that you really love him and sexually desire him, not someone else.
4. He may be suffering from sexual performance anxiety, particularly if you have had other sexual partners while away. If so, he could be afraid he will not be able to perform well (or as well as he might imagine your other lovers would perform, i.e., he compares himself with other lovers and feels inadequate), and this would shut down his libido. He may have concerns about being able to get and maintain an erection, and/or about his ability to last long enough before he ejaculates to satisfy you, and these fears can reduce libido drastically. Remedy: drop any goal of getting to orgasm and simply focus on giving and receiving pleasure. Let orgasm take care of itself.
5. He may be masturbating excessively, including frequent ejaculation, and this would seriously inhibit his desire for sexual intercourse with a partner. Remedy: reduce or stop the masturbation, thus saving all sexual desire, energy and motivation for sex with a partner.
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"I am 25 years old with 2 kids. I am in a 2 year relationship and faithful, but I have no sex drive. I love him very much but never want to have sex and it is ruining my relationship. Is there anything I can do to get my sex drive back?”
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