Is it normal to pee when you boyfriend is fingering you? I need to know and I can't ask anyone else!
ANSWER
It would be unusual for a woman to pee while she is being fingered vaginally, unless she specifically wanted to do so.
But it may not actually be pee. Sometimes a woman will ejaculate while the G-spot or other areas inside the vaginal canal are being stimulated with fingers, penis or dildo. The ejaculation fluid is not urine, but it is excreted through the urethra in the same way as urine. Ejaculate fluid is relatively odorless and tasteless, unlike urine which tends to have a strong taste and odor. Also, ejaculate fluid dries without leaving a mark on the sheets, again unlike urine which can leave a very noticeable yellow coloring after drying.
If it really is urine in your case, this would probably be evidence of weak Pubococcygeus muscles. You can strengthen these muscles by doing PC squeezes, sometimes referred to as Kegels. Squeeze as if you were stopping the flow of urine in midstream. Hold the squeeze for approximately 7-8 seconds and over the course of say two weeks build up to doing about 100 squeezes per day. This will strengthen these muscles to the point where it should be possible for you to avoid peeing during vaginal stimulation.
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Q: I enjoy anal sex, but ever since having children, the muscles aren't as strong as they should be and I worry about flatulence, incontinence, etc.
Does anal sex permanently damage the muscle? Is there any way to strengthen a weak muscle?
ANSWER
Anal sex would not normally harm you anal sphincter and tissues, although extremely rough anal sex could cause damage.
Yes you can strengthen and tone all of the muscles in the entire genital and anal area with squeezing exercises done daily.
The squeeze would be the same as if you were holding back from peeing or stopping the flow of urine mid-stream (for the vulva), and holding back on a bowel movement for the anus. Squeeze and hold for approximately 6-8 seconds, then relax the squeeze.
Work up gradually to doing perhaps 100 squeezes per day over say the next 2 weeks, then continue 100 per day after that. Within approximately 2 weeks you should notice considerable improvement in toning, strength and pleasurable sensitivity.
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I have been a practitioner of yoga for quite some time now, the 'heart and crown' approach. The tantric approach seems new to me, but I need to explore it in order to deal with sex. I have developed a good control for not ejaculating, and feeling the power of the afterglow. But now I have a semen build up and its causing aches. You say to let your body absorb it, or let it flow all over the body (I have even heard it going up the spine). But what can I do to spread the sex energy from below to the rest of the body or upwards? Is there a conscious exercise? If I let it go and ejaculate it would defeat the purpose of my efforts and drain me of the energy build up, leaving me in negative instead of having energy.
ANSWER
Is sounds like you must be using control to stop the ejaculation. This is not a viable long-term strategy. Control is the enemy of ecstasy as control stops the flow of energy. The energy must move and flow if you are going to have any higher more spiritual experience. Focus your attention on what you do want, not on what you don't want. Up to now I would say you must have been focusing on what you don't want, ejaculation, but instead, focus on what you do want, to move and circulate the energy away from your genitals, up through the rest of your body.
It is like a pressure cooker in the genitals, and as the hot sexual energy builds there, it will become painful, like an inflammation, if that energy is not released. Since you are able to stop the ejaculation, you are experiencing this discomfort. However, if you successfully move the energy away from your prostate, up through the rest of your body, you will not have any of that discomfort, even if you do not ejaculate.
You move the energy by doing PC squeezes, i.e., squeeze the muscles in the genital area as if you were stopping the flow of urine mid-stream. Breath in a slow deep
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How can a woman tighten the vaginal canal after childbirth?
ANSWER
There are exercises a woman can do to tone and strengthen the vaginal muscles. These are commonly known as Kegels, named after a California physician who in the late 1940s and early 1950s prescribed the exercise for women suffering from incontinence. The exercises also proved to be of great value to women in preparation for and recovery from child birth. And women started to notice that they had more orgasms after doing these exercises.
The exercise, which we call PC squeezing (PC stands for pubococcygeus - the musculature around the genitals), involves squeezing or tightening the muscles in the vaginal area of the body. To start a woman would squeeze as if she were going to stop the flow of urine in mid stream. She would squeeze and hold these muscles for say 5 seconds, then relax the squeeze. She would continue to breath normally as possible as she does this squeeze and relax action, building up to doing say 100 squeezes per day. She should not try to do 100 the first day or she will become sore. Take approximately 2 weeks to build up to doing 100 per day. Then continue this practice daily to maintain muscle strength, toning and pleasure sensitivity.
After she has been doing 100 PC squeezes per day, then she can progress onto gaining mastery over the internal vaginal muscles. There are rings of muscle extending from the vaginal opening, all the way back to the cervix. With practice she can learn to contract these muscles one at a time, flowing in an undulating wave action from front to back to front, etc. If her male lover is inside her while she does this it can be most excellent pleasure for him.
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