I've been reading your Soul Sex: Tantra For Two. and it's a great book, but our relationship problem is that at age 31 and after about 3½ months he began experiencing erectile dysfunction. We've had sex once since then. What can I do? I'm so miserable because it's hurting his pride and he's less affectionate and defensive about it. He's seeing a therapist but honestly, I see mine more often than he does. Whenever he tries to make an appointment for testosterone testing or what have you, the Dr. is out of town or something.

Al, any advice on how to handle him through this intensely awful situation? I want to spend my life with him. But I think I need to leave him. My life was fuller with him in it, and then he went away.

ANSWER

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My husband can achieve orgasm without ejaculation by stimulating 2 nerves, muscles, or something above the penis on the lower torso . I can’t find any info as to what this area is. I or he can do the stimulation which produces an orgasm which he feels is more like a female orgasm. What is this? I can’t find and answer anywhere. He also has an indentation near it that I can put a knuckle of a bent finger “into” as if I were penetrating him. HELP!  I am not sure what I am stimulating but he would rather have this kind of orgasm than ejaculating. Although, he still ejaculates to keep a healthy prostrate. Can you give me some guidance?

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I was just reading your article and noticed that you say the key to whole body orgasms is to keep your pc muscle relaxed all the time while you are either masturbating or having sex. I'm just wondering if you're supposed to keep them relaxed all the way through orgasm or as some other things I've read say, squeeze your pc muscle extremely hard right before orgasm. Any reply would be appreciated. 

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