I met someone on-line and when we had sex for the first time (after about 4 dates and 5 weeks of communication), he never really kissed or performed oral on me even though we had always had wonderful kissing sessions before. He also always spoke of pleasing me orally but when we had the chance he didn’t.

When we got to the hotel room, he spent an hour watching a movie, but we were playing with each other. He kept talking and slapping my bottom.

When we started to have sex he started with me doggie style, very hard and fast, turned me over and did for a few minutes then i tried on top but couldn’t support my own weight.

Then we started doggie style again but this time when he was pushing my hips and back down my back got hurt and we had to stop. Everything lasted only about 5-7 min. and he was quite rough. I was tired and he remarked on this a couple of times. I’m 50 and he is 42.

He never tried again and he never came. He didn’t really want to do anything else, didn’t want to try again, and soon fell asleep but never let go of me while he was sleeping.

Because this was our first time and we had talked so much about it leading up to the meeting – i am very confused and hurt.

Before he fell asleep I offered to do oral on him but he stated it wouldn’t do any good. He liked straight penetration. To me it seemed like he knew what he would need to come and he thought I couldn’t take it. He still did not want to do oral on me and no kissing.

Can you guess what might have happened? Why didn’t he try again to come? He said he desired me, he was hard during the short time, and he says he still does desire me but basically we stopped our communication. Need some advice please of what you believe what happened? We did spend the whole night together.

ANSWER

I am sorry to have to say it because you sound emotionally vulnerable on this (understandably!), but I believe this man is a loser. Move on. A start this bad will not go uphill, only downhill from here. As much as you might feel hurt, don’t compound your hurt with more treatment the same or worse than the situation you described. Spiritually speaking, and actually in all of life, remember this: you can’t get what you do want if you settle for what you don’t want. You deserve much better, and you can have it. Get clear on what kind of relationship you want, and settle for nothing less.

All good things,

4freedoms@tantraloving.com

www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com

www.tantra-sex.com

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Naughty, Forbidden Places for Great Oral Sex
By Gabrielle Moore

As in most things, a little creativity can go a long way to spicing up your relationship. If you think about it, performing fellatio on a guy is pretty straight-forward, but add to that the elements of forbidden places, stolen moment, and the fear of getting caught… well, it could be the best sex you guys have ever had!

More Unique Places to Engage in Oral Sex

On the balcony.
So near, yet so far. This is the feeling you guys will get when you engage in oral sex at your own balcony. Think about it. You’re still ‘home’. It’s your own place. And there’s probably a spot secluded enough so that nobody else can see you but at the same time, you guys are so ‘out there’. What if the neighbor see? Imagine the thrill!

If your woman is game with these things then lucky you! However, if she’s not that adventurous, take baby steps to convince her. For example, have an al fresco dinner and engage in light foreplay. Kiss her deeply until she feels comfortable with allowing you to place your hand under her clothes.

Take it just a little bit further each time you go out on the balcony. Soon enough, you’ll reach a stage when you both want more and this is the perfect time to guide her to go down and perform fellatio on you.
Worried about not lasting enough? I have some great pointers to avoid disasters! Simply go to www.gabriellemoore.com

Wet and wild. Poolside or ocean-side?
Wet and wild. If you have your own swimming pool, great. This would make it easier for you to engage in oral sex in your own pool. For this event, the thrill is in the fact that you guys are still in the water. If your pool is outside your home with neighbors potentially looking in, all the better! Again, use your imagination. Don’t just have oral sex on the sides of the pool. Think pool steps or even on the diving board!

If poolside doesn’t work for you guys, then how about ocean-side? Granted, salt water does make it difficult for her to perform fellatio on you while you’re standing in the ocean but it doesn’t mean it can’t be done for a few seconds. This is especially thrilling if there are other swimmers nearby.

Of course, there are other places where you guys can engage in oral sex. For instance, what about a secluded side of the beach? Or why not hire a raft, go out into the ocean and perform oral sex on each other there? You’ll have your own natural water-bed.

Check out my free report and master these and many other techniques. You can download it at: www.gabriellemoore.com

Out in the open.
Another great place to engage in oral sex is out in the open space. Take a hike one weekend, find a secluded, grassy area and have an afternoon romp. You can also try an open field. This is great if you own a nice, big piece of land but if you don’t, that’s ok, just go for a nice walk into some nearby woods or park near you. Just be careful of two things: poisonous plants and the potential presence of ferocious wildlife!

Go ahead, have oral sex in the kitchen.
We’ve been discussing places outside the home, but really, a lot of people can’t even make this sex fantasy come true: oral sex or intercourse in the kitchen.

Well, now is the time to take that step and fulfill this fantasy of yours. After all, especially if you’re just starting to be more adventurous, the kitchen offers a LOT of places for comfortable oral sex: the counter, the dining table, kitchen sink, etc.

Another plus with engaging in oral sex in the kitchen is that you’re near some very handy props. Admittedly, there’s less props you can use while performing fellatio (compared to performing cunnilingus) but there are some old reliable stables you can use like whipped cream, liquid chocolate, and of course, peanut butter. As these items are all literally within an arm’s reach, there’s no need to break the momentum during oral sex. And so what if it gets a bit messy? The kitchen sink and tea towels are just nearby!

There you have it, four crazy and wild places to engage in oral sex with. All these places aim to increase the excitement factor and makes performing oral sex on you a whole new experience for her too. So the next time you plan to ask her to perform fellatio, surprise her with just how naughty you can be with these new, hot and sexy ideas.

To learn more DARING secrets to make her scream of pleasure tonight, go to www.gabriellemoore.com

Mind the ‘orgasm gap’
by Francine Kopun, Article Source: www.thestar.com

U.S. sex survey reveals tepid teens, eager seniors, and raises questions about ‘faking’

A large sex survey of Americans has found that most women don’t reach orgasm when they have sex, even if their partners think they do.

About 85 per cent of the men in the survey of 5,865 people between the ages of 14 and 94 said their partner had an orgasm during their most recent sexual encounter. Only 64 per cent of women reported reaching orgasm.

“It’s unclear what that orgasm gap is, whether that many women are faking — are pretending to have an orgasm — or not,” says Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, and one of the authors of the report. “I think both sexes really need to better communicate about sex.”

The study also found that fewer teenagers are having sex than one might think, and that people in their 80s are engaging in a variety of sexual activities, including masturbation.

Among the 50 women over 80 in the study, 100 per cent reported having masturbated with a partner within the past year, according to Herbenick. Some of the women were married, some were widowed, some had romantic partners or “friends with benefits.”

“It showed that for some people sexual activity can occur throughout life, and there’s not a pure stopping point, just like there’s not a pure starting point,” said Herbenick.

She pointed out that it’s important to be careful about data with the small numbers of people over 80 in the statistical survey.

“It’s like seeing on TV an 80-year-old who finishing their first marathon. That’s great for that 80-year-old, but does that mean that every 80-year-old should take up running? I think the same is true for sex. For so many people, stopping or slowing down sexually is actually a nice part of aging for them,” said Herbenick.

Among the study’s other findings:

• About 40 per cent of women aged 20 to 49 and of men aged 25 to 59 have had anal sex.
• More than 80 per cent of women and 85 per cent of men had received oral sex, but in the past year, more than half of women and men aged 18 to 49 engaged in oral sex.
• Women over 50 were more likely to reach orgasm when having sex with a new acquaintance.
• Although uncommon among 14- to 15-year-olds, in the past year 18.3 per cent of 16- to 17-year-old males and 22.4 per cent of 16- to 17-year-old females performed oral sex with an other-sex partner.
• Partnered sexual behaviour was reported by fewer than 50 per cent of adolescent participants even at age 17. For example, 40 per cent of 17-year-old males reported intercourse in the past year, but only 27 per cent reported intercourse in the past 90 days, indicating they have had sex, but aren’t having it on a regular basis.

Visit: www.thestar.com

ANSWER

One of the most important things to remember when pleasing a woman is to go very very slowly. Start with light soft touches and only progress to firmer, harder and faster as her arousal builds. Start at the extremities and work your way in toward the hot spots of breasts and genitals. Don’t go near the genitals until she is already fully aroused. Spend lots of time kissing. Speak loving words of adoration and affection in her ears. When you find something that works, in other words, she lets you know with sound and movement that she likes your touch, then keep doing that until she indicates she is ready for a change. Sound and movement mean yes, this is working, this turns her on; quiet and still means this is not working and you should try something different, unless of course you are deliberately in a phase of quiet and stillness.

Our book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra provides detailed instruction on all aspects of foreplay, sexual intercourse positions, and afterplay.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Image Source: www. tressugar.com

A or B Game

Try two different versions of a sexual technique—for example two different tongue strokes in oral sex, two different thrusting maneuvers during intercourse, two different caresses on back or thighs, two different kisses. Refer to one as A and one as B. Ask which (s)he likes best. This opens you up to all sorts of new pleasures and avoids any hurt you might feel when someone tells you they do not like something. Repeat as often as wanted to learn each other’s arousal and orgasmic responses. You can use this technique during any lovemaking, but we suggest you set aside times when your intention is not to progress in your lovemaking to orgasm, but rather your intention is only to learn about each other. This removes any performance anxiety and can really be lots of fun if you keep it very light and playful. Repeat this as a learning exercise at least three or four times per year, or more if you discover that you both really like it.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra