November 26, 2008

Men on Oral Sex

Why are men more willing to swallow semen while performing oral sex than women?

ANSWER

We can only speculate about this, and of course each man and woman will have their unique preference and attitude about swallowing semen.

Since semen comes from men, it would seem more likely that they might not mind swallowing something that they themselves create within their own body. This would almost certainly be true for men with a strong tendency to homosexuality. By contrast, men with a strong tendency to heterosexuality would likely find the idea of swallowing semen repugnant. Women will be somewhere in between these two positions, partly dependent upon previous experience and partly dependent upon beliefs, which in turn may come out of interpretations of the meaning of previous experiences and access to factual information and knowledge (which may or may not be accurate information).

A person’s attitude about this is, like with most other things, powerfully influenced by past experiences. If a anyone, man or woman, has had a negative or traumatic experience involving the penis and ejaculate in the mouth, this will usually result in that person being reluctant to swallow. If the experience has been positive the chances are they will willingly swallow and probably enjoy it. Another factor, is the knowledge or lack of knowledge about the semen itself, e.g., is it clean, is it safe, is it nutritious, does it have emotional, energetic or spiritual value?

The answer to all of these questions is yes. Semen is clean, safe, nutritious, and it carries emotional, energetic and spiritual value. All of the best of a man, energetically, goes into the production of his semen. This is a biological imperative directly relevant to survival of the species in reproduction. The semen is rich in nutritional value, vitamins, minerals and enzymes. It carries the essence of the life force, necessary for reproduction.

Also, this is a situation in which the beliefs and assumptions of the individual largely determine the spiritual significance of it. You can make it of high positive value or something threatening, dirty and disgusting. So for each person it will be exactly what they make it to be.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
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October 8, 2008

I can never get him to come

I never use to have a problem in the past with serious relationships in getting a man to come with oral sex. My boyfriend and I are happily together for over 2½ years. He never like oral until I did it to him because a former girlfriend bit him.

My problem is that I can never get him to come, ever, in all this time we have been together, but he loves oral anyway because of me. He doesn't seem to care because we please each other in other ways. So any suggestions?
 
ANSWER

Let go of any concern with whether or not your man ejaculates during fellatio. Having a goal of ejaculation is one of the ways to interfere with the natural organic ejaculatory response. Ironically, when you drop the performance expectation of getting to the ejaculation, you will likely discover that he is able to ejaculate more easily, if he wants to.

Beware if you have a belief or assumption that to really please him and satisfy him, he must ejaculate. On the contrary, what most men want is to stay at the height of pleasure longer, not end it with an ejaculation.

Once a man learns about cultivating and moving his hot sexual energy up through his body, he can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating at all. It would be better for your man to learn that than to figure out how to ejaculate, which only makes him tired in exchange for a few seconds of pleasure. But orgasms without ejaculation do not make you tired, and the man does not lose his erection, so the lovemaking can be extended for longer periods of time, so he is not giving anything up by not ejaculating. On the contrary he will gain a great deal more pleasure than he gives up.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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September 30, 2008

Uncomfortable with Oral Sex.

Q: Whenever I perform oral sex, my nose runs and my eyes tear. I don't gag, so it's not that. It's always been that way, why is this happening?
It's actually quite annoying.

 

ANSWER

You are having an emotional/psychological negative reaction (similar to an allergic reaction) to performing oral sex. Look inside and carefully examine your beliefs and assumptions about oral sex. Also consider any past traumatic or strong emotionally uncomfortable experiences with oral sex.

To change yourself inside regarding oral sex, do this exercise repeatedly until your allergic reaction disappears.

Create a visual image of yourself involved giving or receiving oral sex. Make sure the image is entirely positive including you having strong feelings of pleasure and being not only emotionally comfortable with the experience but also enjoying it immensely. Compare that image with a remembered image of you having the allergic reaction. Then send the allergic reaction away and hold onto the positive image. Say to yourself (inside your head, not out loud), “I choose to create this happy experience with oral sex.” Call up the allergic reaction and compare it with your happy image. Send the allergic reaction away, holding only the happy image in your awareness and say to yourself, “I choose to create this happy experience with oral sex. Repeat as often as necessary.”

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
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September 18, 2008

I have never had an orgasm.

 
 I have never had an orgasm. I’ve got off but only orally. Why?


ANSWER

If you've "gotten off" with oral sex then you've definitely had an orgasm. Women can learn to experience many types of orgasms in many parts of their bodies. Orgasms that range from very mild sensations to out-of-this world wild. Orgasms from breast stimulation, orgasms from clitoral stimulation, varieties of vaginal orgasms from manual stimulation or intercourse, whole body orgasms and more. Basically you need to give yourself permission to learn to experience all the sexual pleasure you can and then you need the time to do it. It takes a while for most women to become aroused enough to experience all the orgasms they are capable of.

Because orgasm is something women learn to do, I'd suggest you read this article Freeing the Female Orgasm.  We wrote it for a man’s magazine so it’s from a male point of view, but it has lots of great info.

You may also be interested in our ebook Awakening Women’s Orgasm. It has lots of fabulous ideas, practices, and exercises to do on your own and with a partner.
 
 
 
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August 14, 2008

My wife and I have been having issues of late when trying to have sex.

My wife and I have been having issues of late when trying to have sex. Usually we are in the missionary position, but after a short period of time, my wife begins to complain about pain. At that point we either have to rush and she has to endure or we just stop leaving us both frustrated. I want to say that I am large but I truly don't think this is the issue. We have been married for over 8 years and have a daughter and this has only been an issue of late. What can be causing this and what can we do to remedy it?
ANSWER
 
There can be a number of reasons for painful intercourse. The most likely is not enough lubrication. Is your wife fully aroused before you start intercourse? When a woman becomes very sexually excited her vagina expands and it produces lubrication so that intercourse goes smoothly. Make sure you take enough time with foreplay — kissing, caressing, telling her how wonderful she is, oral sex — before you even attempt to enter her. You can also use additional lubricant, such as a water or silicone based lubricant.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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February 25, 2008

My boyfriend doesn’t like exploring my wet vagina

 

 
23515264.jpgMy boyfriend doesn’t like exploring my wet vagina. He gets uncomfortable touching it sometimes when its wet. This really disheartens me because I want to experience oral sex. I don’t know what to do.


 
ANSWER

 My suggestion is that you have a frank talk with him. Ask him what he feels and why. Although this might be hard for you to do it's better than just forgetting about it and hoping he'll change his mind. It's best to address issues like this right away, it just gets harder the longer you wait.

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December 18, 2007

Transmitted diseases during oral sex

 

 Is there any possibility for some diseases to be transmitted by oral sex?

 

ANSWER

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