Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
Fantasy Fun
Fantasies provide opportunities to explore all aspects of sexuality with a lover you trust in a situation that is safe, even though some fantasies might involve danger, violence, or taboos. Suggested guidelines for exploring fantasy:
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No-one gets hurt—no means no, and stop means stop.
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Discuss your fantasy in advance and agree to terms and limits.
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Use fantasies that bring you closer together and into the moment—don’t use fantasies that threaten your relationship or take you away from the here and now.
Time for Exercise: a few minutes or all day and night
Properties Required: varies with the fantasy
Tie-ups – Blindfolds – Masks – Costumes
Greet your lover at the door in various costumes: bathrobe with nothing underneath; a mask; bra, panties, garter belt and stockings, and high heels; birthday suit; a tie only; top only; bottoms only; just your socks; thong; war paint on face; body paint with no clothes; or chocolate and whipped cream in special places, no clothes.
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Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
Completely Committed
Time for Exercise: 15 minutes
Properties Required: none
Steps:
1.Explain to your partner what your commitment means.
2.Give evidence that supports your statement and shows your commitment. Below are examples of evidence that commitment is real. The items on this list are not all required. They are examples to help get the exercise going. Each couple will express their commitment in their own way. There are no rules about commitment. The most important thing about commitment is that you are in agreement about it. For example, in some relationships, neither partner is ready for 100% commitment.
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Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
I Changed My Mind…
And she never gives out, and she never gives in. She just changes her mind.
Billy Joel, She's Always a Woman
Time for Exercise: 10 to 30 minutes
Properties Required: none
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Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
Truth and Dare
All the secrets you hold inside are an enormous weight, a needless burden. This exercise offers an excellent opportunity for you to revisit and let go of things from your past that still bother you. All of us have experiences that have left us wounded: times when we felt humiliated, diminished, attacked, violated, abused, rejected, ignored, or misunderstood. Just to have someone listen to your story without judgment, without comment, and without assuming responsibility can lighten your load tremendously.
Time for Exercise: 10 to 30 minutes
Properties Required: none
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Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
The Whine Cellar
Do you catch yourself whining and complaining needlessly about what ails you and what you don’t like? Do you notice your lover doing the same? Whining and complaining rarely elicit compassion from those around us but rather tend to annoy everyone. Certainly it is necessary to deal with real problems, remove blockages, overcome difficulties, and find solutions, but whining does not help the process. The Whine Cellar technique is a simple, elegant, tactful, and respectful way to get rid of whining every time it rears its annoying head.
Set the stage for using this technique by agreeing to give each other permission to identify when the other is whining and to catch your own whining as much as possible and to stop.
Time for Exercise: one minute
Properties Required: none
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Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
You Go First
The poet Alta once wrote, “Let’s stop hurting each other. You go first.” Somebody has to go first if things are going to change for the better.
Time for Exercise: 15 minutes to one hour
Properties Required: none
Steps:
1.Identify a contentious issue that repeatedly leads to unfriendly disagreements, disrespectful arguments, or violent fights. Work with only one issue at a time.
2.As objectively as you can, try to come to agreement on what the nature of the issue is, for example, what happens first (how things get started), then what happens next, such as “I do this, then you do that, then this happens….” Try to do this without blaming, or judging, or attacking each other about what usually happens. Try to avoid insisting one or the other is at fault and must change or else. In this step, you are objectively describing the process not getting caught up in the specifics of your issue.
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Mind Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
Two Ways Make New Ways
Time for Exercise: 15 minutes to two hours
Properties Required:
pen and paper
Steps:
1.Have a conversation during which you identify points of difference, such as ways of thinking or acting, values, and beliefs. Some of these differences might be minor; others might be causing considerable tension in the relationship.
2.Select one item to work with. If you find the process moves smoothly and quickly, you can tackle additional items now, or save your list for another time.
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Fantasy Fun
