I recently married and would like to have oral with my wife. But I'm afraid if she would accept it. Is there any way to figure out whether she will agree or not with oral?
ANSWER
It is not unheard of, but somewhat unusual for any woman not to like receiving oral sex. So I hope this information boosts your confidence in trying oral sex with your wife. Almost certainly she will like this aspect of lovemaking.
Of course, some skill on your part would be helpful, so you may want to consult a video or two showing you how to perform
More on I recently married and would like to have oral sex with my wife.Tags:foreplay marriage oral sex Questions and Answers sex advicePopularity: 10% [?]
It will be almost two years since I met this gentleman. He is two years younger than me. He is 60. We first started out talking on the phone, hours at a time, met and had at home dinners, and then started an intimate relationship which was good. We were open with what we wanted with making love, open to new ideas, read your sites and others for articles. Here is the problem. I was seeing him while he was still separated from his wife. She passed away 9 months ago, and since he has given me a cold shoulder. Not answering my phone messages, etc., even though prior to her death I was supportive to him and was there for him with all the problems surrounding family issues about her illness and where to place her while ill, etc. He made me feel like he just dropped me off the face of the earth. Probably had guilt feelings about seeing me while still married, etc., but I wasn't the first woman he was seeing. He was separated from her for years. Just the last woman he was seeing before and after her passing so I took the brunt of the guilt. I suppose. Now, lately we started e-mailing each other. Small stuff and he started sending me stuff from your site again as well as other sites. He asks if I have learned anything,( wondering if I read any of it), not implying I am not good in bed because we did satisfy each other and we always talked about learning more so I took that remark as meaning did I learn more. Do you think this is his way of trying to get back with me? Why send me this stuff if that were not the case? Or am I drawing at straws. He seems like he may have low self esteem and a little shy as well.
ANSWER
Well, if he's emailing you again and sending you information about lovemaking and relationships, it sounds
More on Do you think this is his way of trying to get back with me?Tags:divorce marriage marriage problem Questions and Answers relationship advice secret love affairPopularity: 12% [?]
My husband was working in A cruise ship and I’m having this feeling that he's with somebody there because when were having sex I can’t feel that he has that same love still for me. I don’t know how to figure things out. It’s the same way we done our thing but I’m feeling there's always something missing and I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or insecure.
ANSWER
The only way to know what's happening in your relationship with your husband is to talk about it with him. Ask him if he's happy with you. Tell him you're feeling some distance and want to bring your connection back. Be open and honest about your feelings, that you are insecure. Don't accuse him of sleeping around, avoid blaming and guilt, simply express your true heart.
Also, are you doing anything to bring more closeness? Are you making any sexual or romantic overtures to him? Do you let him know you respect and admire him?
Al Link and Pala Copeland
Image Source: www. health.com
Tags:divorce marriage marriage problem Questions and Answers relationship advice secret love affairPopularity: 13% [?]
Yes my ex and I are back together after 3 months. Okay I want this to work this time. There were some issues with my ex, my daughters father, the first time my ex told me he was confused. Well I need and want to have a talk with him.
But he works now Monday through Thursdays and I am the mother of a special needs daughter. What bothers me is I know I am shy and why does it seem like I am scared to talk to him. He doesn’t make me uncomfortable, never has. I feel in shock he asked for us to go together again Sunday night but I hate that I won’t say what is on my mind, can't.
More on I find myself wishing he would kiss me by or hug me moreTags:divorce family relationships love marriage Questions and AnswersPopularity: 4% [?]
I've been with my boyfriend for 20 months and it's been good and bad. He's been in jail the whole time, which has made it even harder for us to stay together. We've been on good terms lately and we haven't fought in a while. But I haven't heard from him in almost three weeks now and I don't know why.
I have no reason to think that he's mad at me or no longer wants to talk to me. Him not writing me in three weeks is rare when we're on good terms.
We're suppose to get married and be together forever but now I'm having doubts. What should I do? Keep writing him and hope that he replies or calls me? Or should I leave the relationship?
ANSWER
Only your heart can advise your actions in such a situation. Do you really love him? Do you stay in the relationship out of fear of being on your own, starting over, not wanting to hurt him, worrying about retaliation, etc.? If you love him, by all means keep making contact. If it is fear, move on and create a new relationship.
Image Source: www.neillneill. com/category/grieving/
Tags:love advise love communication marriage Questions and Answers relationship advice relationships problemsPopularity: 4% [?]
I’m 15 years old, and have a crush on my boyfriend’s mom who is 30 years old. She has 3 kids. I really care for her and know she is unhappy with her husband. I don’t know how to approach her and tell her I like her cause she'll probably slap me or tell my parents.
ANSWER
Trust your heart. If you really care for her, let her know, but under the circumstances, i.e., she is married with kids, and the age difference, including that you are still a minor, makes the probability of her responding favorably to your affections, rather small, but anything is possible. As Wayne Gretzky says, "100% of the shots you don't take, don't go in." So go for it and if it doesn't work out, move on.
Tags:crush marriage minor relationship Questions and Answers relationships advice sexual desire Wayne GretzkyPopularity: 6% [?]
I am a 39 years old successful businessman. Four years ago I met a girl and fell deeply in love. Two years ago she got married to another guy through family fixed marriage. Shortly after her marriage, she told me that she still loved me and would like to continue our relationship. She promised that she will get a divorce. We have our secret affairs, and fell more deeply to each other. Until today, 2 years later, she is still married, and still talking about that divorce. I love her very much. I don't like that feeling of sharing her with another guy. She told me that she does not like her husband. There are no feelings and no love. They don't even have sex. I am having sleepless nights just thinking that they are sleeping together every night. What should I do? Shall I wait or should we break? Please advice.
ANSWER
It is a sad fact that a married person having an affair, who promises to leave the marriage, rarely actually does leave the marriage. Two years is long enough to be conclusive evidence that you are in such a situation. Move on and start to create a relationship with someone who can return your love and make a real and meaningful commitment.
Tags:divorce marriage marriage problem Questions and Answers relationship advice secret love affairPopularity: 5% [?]
I am a married 30 year old woman. I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 5 years and we have a 5 year old daughter. Our marriage has been on the rocks for about 2 years now. I am a housewife and I have been talking to this man online for over 8 months. He is also married and he has two amazing children. We both went online not hoping to fall in love with one another but just for someone to talk to; someone who can relate and understand one another. We have never met, but I know what he looks like and he thinks I am a nurse. I am not. He thinks the world of me and I think the world of him. We fell so head over heels for one another, and he told me yesterday that he told his wife that he wanted a divorce, and I told him I also wanted a divorce from my husband. I am not happy in my marriage. I am tired of the look I get from my husband; the look that wishes he was married to someone else. I hate that look I get from him. I feel like such a complete loser and failure when I am with my husband. This man make me feel so special and we have talked about getting married and a future together. He is studying to be a doctor and he assumes that I am this amazing woman which I am not. I have sent him pictures of women that he assumes are me which are not me. I don't know what I am going to do. He thinks I will be going there to see him in a few weeks and I am not. I don't want to lose this man. I love him sooooo much my heart aches for him. He talked to me without even knowing me, without even knowing what I looked like. He said in the beginning that he fell in love with my personality, but the more we talked as the days and months went by I can tell that he is so amazing, more than words can put into play, but in reality he knows nothing about the real me, only that I have a child, that I am married, and my name. And that I am head over heels in love with him. I don't know what to do. I love him I can't lose him.
ANSWER
You must take responsibility for your misinformation and correct any misunderstandings as quickly as possible. In a sense you will have to start over by sharing with him photos of what you really look like. Postpone the meeting for now and try to reconnect, perhaps using a camera with your chating. Most likely, if he is as wonderful as you believe him to be, this will not be a problem.
Many people conceal their identities when meeting with others on the Internet for honest and legitimate reasons of wanting to protect themselves against people who could be dangerous. Surely he will understand that. But you must be prepared for the possibility that when he sees what you look like, he may not be as enthusiastic as he was with the false image you originally presented.
Don’t rush into a personal meeting, but rather continue your Internet correspondence until this is all behind you and you still are sure you both are as excited as before you revealed the truth. If so, then set another meeting and go for it.
The other point would be for you to ask for a divorce now, rather than to continue to deceive your husband. I am sure you would want to be treated with that same courtesy if he were involved with someone else and you did not know it.
Tags:divorce marriage marriage problem online relationships Questions and AnswersPopularity: 4% [?]
I need help. I am married and two years ago ran into one of my ex-girlfriends who is also married. I started talking to her, then she gave me her email address, at first I complimented her and pretty much told her I still had feelings for her. We met one night at a ball game and talked for a hour or so.
After a month or so she made the statement to stop saying nice things about her that her husband may read her email and get the wrong idea. I thought I had overstepped my bounds. The other day she emailed me and wanted to meet me in town, we did, we talked for hours, she took me and met her daughter and grandbaby, when we went to leave she hugged me and held on for a while. I told her how I felt about her, she has not yet told me how she feels.
Although she gave me her phone number, called me for 3 days after our meeting, and invites me over to her house regular to meet her husband, she says that me and him have a lot in common. I am confused and she tiptoes around every question I ask about how she feels. What should I do? Is she interested?
ANSWER
Get clear within yourself about what you really want. Consider all the people involved in this situation including your wife and children (if you have any), your ex-girlfriend's husband and her children. All of these people are going to be affected by the actions you take. When people have an affair and get caught, their spouse will almost always say, "What hurts me the most is all the lying and deception, the humiliation of it all." Do you really want to do that to her, because inevitably the affair will come to light, your wife will almost certainly find out about it.
Let your wife know you are thinking about an affair, before you actually have the affair. Discuss with her what this means about your marriage. Include her in your decision. Have your ex-girlfriend do the same with her husband.
Hint: you might want to do something else first even before you each talk to your spouses. Ask your ex-girlfriend straight out, what her intentions are and insist on an answer. If she won't answer clearly, stay clear. This could make it unnecessary for you to have the conversation with your wife.
Whichever way you proceed, the most important thing is for you to get clear about your marriage.
Tags:love advice marriage Questions and Answers relationship advice relationshipsPopularity: 3% [?]
Would I have any right to expect that entering into a long term relationship, e.g., marriage, that would make me happy?
ANSWER
You can’t properly, or lawfully (spiritually speaking), hold marriage or other forms of committed long-term spousal relationship responsible for your happiness. In other words, marriage and commitment will not make you happy or keep you happy.
People who are happy within themselves - - they like themselves, they are reasonably at peace with the quality of their life, generally are willing and able to do the kind of inner work and manage their outer behaviors in a way that their relationships also work (unless their partner is quite immature in this respect, in other words both have to do this not just one).
People who look to their partner (or their relationship with their partner) to make them happy, or to make them complete, or to make their life work, generally fail in relationships, because that is not how relationships really work. In fact relationships don’t work, people who are mature in relationship skills, make the relationship successful because they work hard to make it successful. The relationship doesn’t do it for them, they do it for the relationship and for themselves.
If happiness is made to be conditional upon the circumstances of a life, that happiness is ephemeral (short lived) indeed, as circumstances change constantly and we have little or no control over most of those circumstances. On the other hand, happiness that is cultivated within oneself as a state of consciousness and being endures in spite of any circumstances we become involved with. This kind of happiness (a deep spiritual happiness) is not an outcome of circumstances, but rather is independent of them.
In short, unhappy people are likely to have unhappy marriages, while happy people are likely to have happy marriages. That being said, there is of course the need for partners in relationship to learn the skills necessary to make relationship work. Few seem willing to undertake such learning, preferring to blame their partners when things go wrong, and they simply move on to “greener pastures.” Of course this strategy does not work because wherever you go, there you are, and there you are with all the same problems and hang-ups you had in the previous relationship.
Good relationships are not the answer to your problems, they are rather the natural outcome when two people have both done the inner work of becoming fit for relationship. In other words, they have undertaking a learning journey to learn how to create love for a lifetime together. Any fool can and does fall in love, but only a few bother to learn how to create love, how to be mature in relationship, based upon love, kindness, compassion, generosity, sacred sexuality and spiritual practice.
Tags:long term relationships love life marriage Questions and Answers Relationship HappinessPopularity: 3% [?]
