In what ways can the Kama Sutra improve serious relationships?
For most couples, if they can get the sex right, the rest of their relationship problems can be worked out much more easily. This is because to get the sex right requires that they do their inner spiritual work to become fit for relationship, which simply means that they learn how to give and receive love. One of the primary ways lovers give and receive love is with sexual lovemaking. The Kama Sutra emphasizes the
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Why is delaying orgasm or trying to focus on your partner's pleasure such a revolutionary idea? Why do people talk about this as though it's something totally foreign, that can only be attained through study? Isn't this sort of the point of having sex (or, at least, making love vs. just sex), i.e. coming at the same time that your partner does?
ANSWER
It is a mistake to focus on what you don’t want. An axiom of every spiritual practice that I am aware of is that you focus on what you do want, because you get more of what you pay attention to. So if a man focuses on not ejaculating, he is actually focusing on what he does not want, i.e., ejaculating, so ironically he will get quicker ejaculations. Rather, we teach men to focus on moving, circulating and exchanging sexual energy, upon opening the heart to feel, give and receive love. Women are instructed on how to let go of shame and guilt by opening their hearts and also by accepting pleasure as a good thing. Both are instructed on going beyond simple physical pleasure by offering their lovemaking
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Body Freedom Exercises
Exercises To Do Together
Pleasure Points
Acupressure releases muscle tension and eliminates the toxins held in muscle tissue, enabling energy and blood to flow freely. As blood circulation increases, oxygen and other nutrients can nourish more areas of the body, naturally heightening your sensuality. Many of the same points that are therapeutic can also be used erotically. The Pleasure Point practices below are excellent erotic warm-ups for lengthy lovemaking.
Time for Exercise: 30 minutes to one hour
Properties Required: each other
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"Massage"
Massage is one of the easiest and surest ways to disconnect from the many demands of a busy life and to connect with your lover. You can give your lover a full-body massage in under 7 minutes. This will get you both out of your heads and into your bodies. Ecstasy in lovemaking is not essentially a mental process; rather it requires that you pay attention to sensory information (sight, taste, touch, smell and kinesthetic sensations), any or all of which will get you into your body, fully present in the now moment.
Any time one of the lovers is keen for lovemaking, but the other is too tired, try giving your partner a full body massage. This will sometimes awaken your lover’s sexual energy so that he becomes aroused and able to participate in more active lovemaking. Be sure not to use this offering of massage in a manipulative way, as a strategy for getting your partner to be interested in sex just because you are. Offer the massage as an unconditional gift, with no expectation of anything in return.
Excerpted from our Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
Al Link and Pala Copeland
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"Foreplay"
“One of the most wonderful things about latter life lovemaking is that foreplay can last up to a month.” Loving Life After 60: Celebrating the Autumn of Your Life by Tom Paugh
Surveys have shown that typical lovemaking lasts under thirty minutes from start to finish, in virtually every country around the planet. Tantric lovers, on the other hand, extend lovemaking over a period of hours. Extending lovemaking not only increases your pleasure, but also allows for a proper appreciation and honoring of the gender differences between the warriors of love. It usually takes a woman much longer than a man to come to full sexual arousal. Unfortunately lovemaking that finishes in less than thirty minutes may leave the lady frustrated and dissatisfied with her experience. Taking lots of time with foreplay is therefore an important part of Tantric lovemaking.
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