ANSWER

He needs to learn how to work with his sexual energy, so it moves up through his body, rather than staying stuck in the genitals. The single most important physical exercise for doing this is PC squeezing. Squeeze the genital muscles and anal muscles as if you were stopping yourself from going to the bathroom. Hold the squeeze for approx 5-8 seconds, then relax. Repeat approximately 100 times per day, over the entire day, not all at once.

 
We offer complete male sexual mastery instructions in our eBook, Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Popularity: 6% [?]

 

ANSWER

I don’t know what your age is now, but loss of erection can be very noticeable starting around the age of 45-55 even for a man who does not have a lot of bad habits. Lots of bad habits, medical complications, and dysfunctional thinking can cause a man to have erection difficulties at any age. Since you have admitted to a number of circumstances known to interfere with erections, that would be a good place to start in order to reverse the problem and regain full healthy erection response.

Here are my suggestions.

Popularity: 4% [?]

 
ANSWER

The way you think about sex, ejaculation, erections, and yourself all affect your body's sexual response including particularly your erection.


You must catch yourself when you are thinking negatively or badly about yourself. Notice your self-talk. As soon as you find you are giving yourself negative messages inside your head, you must replace them with images and thoughts about the way you do want to be, not the way you fear you are.


Cut back on masturbation as much as possible or completely if you can. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, but if you are having erection problems, frequent ejaculation can cause this, so by avoiding ejaculations during masturbation you will have much greater sexual vigor and vitality when you make love with a woman.

 

Popularity: 5% [?]

 
ANSWER

Your condition is more serious than I could properly respond to in a short email message. The description of your condition reveals serious damage to the erectile tissues which hold blood during erection. I suggest you seek the help of a qualified physician immediately. Once the physical penis is properly diagnosed and the damage treated, then you can return with questions about ejaculation mastery, but your situations requires attention before we can suggest any practices regarding ejaculation mastery.


Here are a few additional comments.


Your penis is of average size. There is nothing wrong with a 5 inch penis; normally it would be quite sufficient for sexual intercourse, but in your case it is the malformation of the penis caused by the damage to the erectile tissues.


Weakness after intercourse is primarily caused by ejaculation, not intercourse. It may well have been some very rough handling during masturbation that has caused the damage to your penis (but this is speculation on my part and must be confirmed by a physician), and if your are frequently masturbating to include ejaculation, this would contribute to making it difficult to get erections during sex with your wife, and tiredness after sexual intercourse (including ejaculation). One thing to try immediately is to discontinue all masturbation, but most importantly stop having ejaculations during masturbation. This will enable you to regain some physical energy and sexual vitality.

 
In addition to this, make foreplay a much longer period of time (including everything leading up to but not including penetration – for example, approximately one hour of foreplay). If your wife is willing, have her massage your body, with particular attention to the large muscles of the legs (thighs),  stomach, back and shoulders. This helps the muscles to relax and get blood and energy moving.

 
Start a regular practice of PC squeezing. This means squeeze the muscles of your genitals as if you were stopping the flow of urine midstream. Work up, over a period of say 2-3 weeks to doing about 100 squeezes per day, each squeeze lasting 5-7 seconds. Don’t try to squeeze as hard as you can, but be firm.

Popularity: 4% [?]

ANSWER

Popularity: 9% [?]

Popularity: 10% [?]

 
ANSWER

There are many reasons why a man could be impotent. This is also called erectile dysfunction (ED).


First consider there might be medical conditions causing the problem, but that is beyond what I can explain in a brief message. If he us able to get erections sometimes, then likely the problem is not medical, but if he rarely if ever gets erections no matter what the stimulation, then the problem is likely to be medical and he should seek the help of a doctor for proper diagnosis and treatment.
 

More likely the problem is mental, psychological. Again there can be so many possibilities that I could not go into all of them. One option is to seek counseling or coaching. We offer telephone coaching if you want to go the coaching rout. But here are a couple of suggestions to consider first.


The first step and the most important thing is that he is willing to confront his own demons and do his inner work to become fit for relationship. Every relationship problem is to some extent the result of a dynamic situation between both partners, but if he is not willing to look inside to find his own solution, there would be little that you could do. It sounds like you have tried many options without effect, so it is likely he is dealing with some internal mental situation based upon something from his past, for example possibly including sexual abuse.
 

He will have to be willing to see what is inside himself, and let you in on it; in other words open his heart to reveal what is going on inside him. By revealing what is going on, what he is feeling, what he can see that might be going on within himself, this is what it means to have an open heart. He may not be willing or able to do that, and if not, frankly I suggest you look elsewhere for the true love that you desire. Without doing such inner work, it is unlikely that this situation will correct itself and you could spend months or years hoping things will change.


If he is willing to share with you what is inside himself, to become emotionally vulnerable and transparent, to open his heart to you, then you have something to work with that would make it worthwhile, or at least hopeful, that together you could find a resolution, allowing him to have a more normal male sexual response to your healthy female sexual needs and desires.

Popularity: 4% [?]

 
ANSWER

Your boyfriend has a serious sexual health challenge, mental, not sexually transmitted disease. Erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation are very common problems among men around the world. Sometimes they are easily treated and other times they persist for a lifetime, causing much anguish for their partners who do not understand what is going on and who may fear it is their fault, that they are not sexy enough, not attractive enough, not sexually skilled enough, etc. None of these things are the problem. The problem is entirely with the man who has these symptoms, not with his partner.


Our book Soul Sex: Tantra For Two is an excellent resource for you to use if you choose to stick this out and help him work through it. Read the book together, talk about all the ideas, and systematically do all the exercises. By the time you are through the book in this detailed way, he should be, for the most part, over his ED. If not, you are likely facing a very long term recovery, or possibly no recovery.


He could check with a medical doctor for treatable conditions, but since you had great sex to begin with and since he can get erections with a lot of coaxing along and much stimulation by you, a medical condition is not likely the problem.  His therapy might help if his therapist is a good one, but this process can take years and may or may not help at all. Mostly it is up to him to be willing to confront whatever demons exist within him and heal himself. The most important first step is wanting to heal and then being willing to do the emotionally uncomfortable inner work of facing those demons.


If he is not willing to work through our book with you in the way I describe, I suggest you might consider moving on to find a new partner.

Popularity: 3% [?]

 
ANSWER

There is nothing wrong with or abnormal about your fantasies of your wife having sex with other men, including more than one man at a time. In fact this is one of the most common fantasies married men have. It is not as common for this to be the fantasy of wives, although it is probably not uncommon.

Quite aside from the issue you raise with ED, we generally encourage people to reveal their fantasies to their spouses. This requires you to become emotionally vulnerable and transparent with each other, in other words open your hearts to each other, something that surprisingly few married (or unmarried for that matter) people seem willing to do.

Considering your fear of talking to your wife about this, I recommend that part of the information you share with her is your fear and insecurity about mentioning this and your uncertainty about her possible reaction. Share this emotional information first and your fantasy second.

Popularity: 4% [?]

ANSWER

It would be rare for someone to injure his penis during masturbation, but it is possible. Here are a couple of considerations.

 

If you were extremely rough with yourself, you could cause physical damage to the erectile tissue meaning that the tissue could no longer handle a change in blood supply, could no longer hold the blood intact for erection. Another scenario could be that you maintained the erection for too long. It is generally understood that keeping an erection over 2 hours can possibly cause damage to the erectile tissue.
 

Once this damage is inflicted, there is no reversal, no recovery. The penis then will, during erection, be misshapen, crooked, and not as hard as before the damage. In extreme cases no erection at all would be possible.


Consult your physician as soon as possible to have your penis checked for damage and possible therapy.

Popularity: 4% [?]