October 19, 2009

Do you ejaculate during the quickies?

You have indicated that it is possible to delay ejaculation for weeks or even months at a time. You also mentioned that sometime you're having a quickie. So do you ejaculate during the quickies?


ANSWER

No, I do not ejaculate during quickies. I find ejaculation tires me out and almost completely obliterates any remaining libido (sexual desire) and the older you get the more noticeable that effect of ejaculation becomes. That is a pretty high price to pay for a few minutes of pleasure and a few seconds of ejaculatory release.


If you wish to master this, my recommendation is to ejaculate as infrequently as possible, but as soon as your prostates starts to get sore, then you must ejaculate to release the built up pressure and restore comfort and protect the prostate.


If you can’t resist ejaculation during quickies, then my recommendation is don’t indulge yourself in quickies until your mastery over the ejaculation response improves.

 

 

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October 12, 2009

I have never been able to reach ejaculation with a partner

I can orgasm fine by myself, but I have never been able to reach ejaculation with a partner.  I enjoy sex completely, but obviously it puts a bit of a damper on things when I cannot fully climax.  I am wondering why this is, and is this a common problem in men?  I am 28 yrs. old and height/weight proportionate.


ANSWER

This is relatively uncommon, but certainly there are many other men experiencing a similar situation. Typically, it is a problem with men who have relied primarily on masturbation to reach an ejaculatory climax, and particularly if they become dependent or even addicted to watching porn as the primary way they become aroused. If this is your situation, you may try to gradually wean yourself away from masturbating while watching porn, and save your arousal and juice for when you are with a partner.


Another point worth mentioning, is that there certainly is no requirement to come to an ejaculation. In fact most forms of sacred sexuality practice, including both Tantric and Taoist, place emphasis on delaying the ejaculation, including sometimes for weeks or even months at a time. Note, this does not mean you don’t have orgasms, but rather that you learn to work with the sexual energy to separate orgasm from ejaculation, so you can have orgasms without ejaculation, and can also have multiple orgasms. Most men (but certainly not all)  find the experience of orgasm without ejaculation, to be far superior to a simple ejaculation.

 

 
 
 
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September 27, 2009

He doesn't want to cum in me

My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex soon (it almost happened already), and he told me he's going to pull out with a condom on though because he doesn’t wanna cum in me. He keeps asking me what I want him to do when he cums, but I thought since he's wearing a condom the sperm goes in there? What are some options he's maybe referring to?


ANSWER

Condoms are almost perfect protection, but there can be problems. For example the condom could slip off if not put onto the penis to the full length, or if the man remains inside you after he comes and the penis shrinks rapidly, it is quite easy for the condom to slip off. Absolutely, do not keep having active thrusting intercourse after he ejaculates and starts losing his erection. As soon as his penis starts to shrink after the ejaculation, he should pull out to avoid any risk of leakage of sperm into the vagina.


Another risk is that the condom could become compromised with a tear or pinhole leak. These things don't happen frequently but they do happen. Condoms are normally made from latex. But latex deteriorates if it comes into contact with oil, e.g., massage oil. Never use an oil based lubricant if you are using a condom. There are also vinyl condoms and they do not deteriorate with contact with oil. Also, there are water based and silicone based lubricants that are safe for use with latex condoms.


Ordinarily, if the man is wearing a condom, there is no need to pull out at the point of ejaculation, since all sperm will be contained inside the condom and none will gain entry to the vagina, but keep the above mentioned cautions in mind.

 

 
 
 
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June 1, 2009

How often should a man at age 27 experience sex

Not to take away from the joy of sex, but health wise, in medical terms how often should a man at age 27 experience sex and or self satisfy?


ANSWER

A male age 27 is young enough that unless there is some existing health challenge, he can engage in sexual acts as often as he wants to. The question of ejaculation is interesting for all males to consider. It would be a great advantage for a young male to begin learning how to delay the ejaculation response, cultivate a high sexual energy charge, and circulate that energy up through the body rather than release it with an ordinary ejaculation. This makes possible orgasm without ejaculation, and multiple orgasms. Accumulating this energy and working with it consciously can yield a significant competitive advantage (in sport, art, business, etc.) to any male who masters it.

 

 

 

 

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May 20, 2009

Is it possible to have sex again 5 min after ejaculating?

Is it possible to have sex again 5 min after ejaculating, and if it is, how could it be done?


ANSWER

All males have what is known as a refractory period; the time it takes after an ejaculation, before another erection is possible. The refractory time varies depending upon the man’s age, physical conditioning, health status, psychological factors, the presence of alcohol and drugs, the type of sexual stimulation available, etc.  The more favorable these factors are, the shorter the refractory time, while the more adverse these factors are, the longer the refractory period. For many young males in good physical condition, with no health problems, no sexual psychological issues, not overindulging in stimulants such as alcohol and recreational or prescription drugs, well rested, and in the presence of sufficient sexual stimulation (for example with a lover), they can actually keep an erection after ejaculation if they move actively rather than become still. Many others can successfully regain another  erection within minutes. A few men can do this for several ejaculations, but this is rare.


On the other hand, any man can learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm, thereby having orgasms without ejaculation. In this scenario, such a man can easily have any number of orgasms during a period of lovemaking extending over a period of hours. Such a man is a multi-orgasmic man. In this situation since there is no ejaculation, there is no refractory period.

 

 
 
 
 
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May 8, 2009

I want to squirt but only ooze.

I want to squirt but only ooze.  Is there anything I can do?


ANSWER

One possibility is that you are ejaculating too frequently for your body to recover fully and prepare for the next one. Experiment with delaying ejaculation for several days, perhaps even a week, to see if this changes things for you. Typically, fewer ejaculations results in more forceful (i.e., squirting) ejaculations.

 
 
 
 
 
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April 15, 2009

My boyfriend's sperm is hot when it comes out?

My boyfriend’s sperm is hot when it comes out?  Why is this?


ANSWER

The male sperm will be approximately body temperature when it is ejaculated. This is because anything from within the human body will come out at body temperature. How hot that temperature feels to you will depend on your own skin temperature and the room temperature. If your skin was somewhat cool when it came into contact with the sperm, the sperm would feel warm or perhaps even hot.

 

 
 
 
 
 
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April 11, 2009

Having oral sex bothers him.

I’ve been in a gay relationship for two years and since the beginning sex has been more than satisfying except I rarely orgasm when receiving oral. I can’t stand him thinking it’s something he’s doing wrong. Intercourse I have no problem with having orgasm, just cannot with oral and it bothers him.

Anything I can do?


ANSWER

I suggest you drop the goal orientation of getting to orgasm. Replace it with a pleasure orientation; mutually giving and receiving pleasure, always with your full attention in the now moment so every touch, every breath, every contact of your eyes is significant, full, rich, enough. With the goal orientation all of these touches and contacts are reduced to being merely means to an end, only of value to get somewhere else; hence they become devoid of the pleasure they are otherwise naturally saturated with.


Furthermore, I suggest you explore separating orgasm and ejaculation. Learn how to work consciously with your hot sexual energy, to cultivate it, move it and share it with your lover. It is possible to have orgasms, many  of them, none of which needs to be accompanied by ejaculation.


Here are two free articles you can study to begin this practice.

Voluntary Ejaculation

Simple Techniques for Mastering Ejaculation


We also offer a more detailed electronic book with full instructions.

Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms eBook

 

 

 
 

 

 

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March 30, 2009

Can she get pregnant even if there is no cum?

For my girlfriend to get pregnant do i actually have to stick my penis in her vagina all the way? If we are fooling around and I end up cumming on top of her vagina without putting it into her can she get pregnant? For example, can ejaculate drip down into her vagina?

Can she get pregnant even if there is no cum, and she is on top of me, and she is really wet and I have a boner and my penis keeps touching her vagina but it isn't actually going in?


ANSWER

For a female to get pregnant sperm must be deposited in the vagina. Under the conditions that you describe, it is possible that some sperm may have gotten into the vagina and pregnancy is possible. In the second scenario you describe it is possible that some ejaculate might have leaked out, even without you having the normal ejaculation, and if any sperm gets into the vagina, pregnancy can occur. Wearing a condom would be recommended if you want to be reasonably sure to avoid pregnancy.

 

 
 

 

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March 25, 2009

Is it a possibility that i might be pregnant?

I’m worried because I had a unprotected sex with my boyfriend, January 19. It was just a 5 minute thing. I asked him if he ejaculated and he said no, but I had my last period January 10 so I believe that I should have my next February the 9th. Is it a possibility that i might be pregnant?


ANSWER
 
Yes, there is a possibility that you are pregnant. Anytime you have unprotected sex you stand the risk of getting pregnant. You also leave yourself wide open for sexually transmitted infections. Even if your boyfriend didn't ejaculate inside you, some sperm can escape from the penis before a full ejaculation starts.

However, because your period is due any day now, don't worry about being pregnant just yet. Try to relax as you wait for your period to start. If you're too tense with worry this might cause your period to be late. If you do miss your period you need to wait until about 2 weeks after it was due to try a pregnancy test.

Remember, for your health and happiness, don't have unprotected sex, even for just 5 minutes!

 

 
 
 
 

 

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