My Dog

"I have a dog named Stay.   It’s fun to call him. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!"   He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing."   4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra Al Link and Pala Copeland  

Pinocchio

One day, Jesus wakes up in a bad mood. He is feeling depressed and lethargic. In fact, a typical Monday-morning feeling. He wanders around heaven looking for someone to cheer him up and finally arrives at the Pearly Gates where Saint Peter is interviewing the new arrivals. Suddenly he sees an old man with a [...]

Investment Advice

If you bought $1,000 of Yahoo stock one year ago it is now worth $79. If you bought $1,000 of Nortel Networks stock one year ago it is now worth $48. If you bought $1,000 of Juniper Networks stock one year ago it is now worth $43. If you bought $1,000 of PSINet stock one [...]

Password

A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to choose and enter a password. Something he will use to log on.   The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the [...]

The Witch

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided that they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She [...]

Men

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man unless he’s in diapers.   2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.   3. If they put a man on the moon — they should be able to put them all up there.   4. Never let your man’s mind wander [...]

Discovering your greatness

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I’m the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the [...]

The correlation between sex and happiness

A graduate student is trying to find a correlation between sex and happiness. He asks people how often they have sex. Some say every day. Some say every month, or week. One guy, who’s very happy and laughing and jumping up and down, says he has sex once a year. "So why are you so happy?" [...]

Comparing health plans

A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the local hospital, when during her tour of floors, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.   "Oh my GOD!" said the woman. "That’s disgraceful. Why is he doing that?"   The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am sorry, but this man has [...]

Skateboard

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what [...]

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