Mind the ‘orgasm gap’
by Francine Kopun, Article Source: www.thestar.com

U.S. sex survey reveals tepid teens, eager seniors, and raises questions about ‘faking’

A large sex survey of Americans has found that most women don’t reach orgasm when they have sex, even if their partners think they do.

About 85 per cent of the men in the survey of 5,865 people between the ages of 14 and 94 said their partner had an orgasm during their most recent sexual encounter. Only 64 per cent of women reported reaching orgasm.

“It’s unclear what that orgasm gap is, whether that many women are faking — are pretending to have an orgasm — or not,” says Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, and one of the authors of the report. “I think both sexes really need to better communicate about sex.”

The study also found that fewer teenagers are having sex than one might think, and that people in their 80s are engaging in a variety of sexual activities, including masturbation.

Among the 50 women over 80 in the study, 100 per cent reported having masturbated with a partner within the past year, according to Herbenick. Some of the women were married, some were widowed, some had romantic partners or “friends with benefits.”

“It showed that for some people sexual activity can occur throughout life, and there’s not a pure stopping point, just like there’s not a pure starting point,” said Herbenick.

She pointed out that it’s important to be careful about data with the small numbers of people over 80 in the statistical survey.

“It’s like seeing on TV an 80-year-old who finishing their first marathon. That’s great for that 80-year-old, but does that mean that every 80-year-old should take up running? I think the same is true for sex. For so many people, stopping or slowing down sexually is actually a nice part of aging for them,” said Herbenick.

Among the study’s other findings:

• About 40 per cent of women aged 20 to 49 and of men aged 25 to 59 have had anal sex.
• More than 80 per cent of women and 85 per cent of men had received oral sex, but in the past year, more than half of women and men aged 18 to 49 engaged in oral sex.
• Women over 50 were more likely to reach orgasm when having sex with a new acquaintance.
• Although uncommon among 14- to 15-year-olds, in the past year 18.3 per cent of 16- to 17-year-old males and 22.4 per cent of 16- to 17-year-old females performed oral sex with an other-sex partner.
• Partnered sexual behaviour was reported by fewer than 50 per cent of adolescent participants even at age 17. For example, 40 per cent of 17-year-old males reported intercourse in the past year, but only 27 per cent reported intercourse in the past 90 days, indicating they have had sex, but aren’t having it on a regular basis.

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Intuition: The Language of Love
By Sherrie Dillard,
Author of Love and Intuition: A Psychic’s Guide to Creating Lasting Love

Tara, a friend of mine, first noticed Jeff while standing in the crowded line of a coffee shop waiting for her morning dose of caffeine. When their eyes met she felt a deep and compelling inner stirring. A casual hello that morning and the following morning, led to conversation and Jeff asking her to dinner. On their first date Tara told me that there was no denying their shared mutual attraction. Despite their many differences, such as education and occupation, Tara works for a biotechnical firm and Jeff drives a city bus, they both felt an instantaneous and unspoken connection to one another.

The immediate attraction that people in love often feel for one another is seldom logical or rational. It is instead a form of intuitive knowing that springs from the deep stirrings of the soul.

Intuition has been defined as simply knowing something without knowing how you know it. We have all had this experience. For instance, have you ever had a strong feeling of trust or mistrust in another upon first meeting? Have you ever thought of a loved one and you soon receive an email or phone call from them? Or have you ever pushed away uncomfortable feelings about another because you had no proof of problems and later regretted doing so? These are all common intuitive signals that most of us at one time or another experience.

Feelings of love and attraction magnify intuitive ability. Take Gabby for instance. For the past several weeks when her husband Carl, leaves for work, she feels heaviness in the pit of her stomach. Although Carl keeps assuring her that everything at work is going well, Gabby has a hard time ignoring the sinking feeling that something is not right. When sharing this feeling with a friend of hers who works for the same company as her husband, she discovers that there are rumors of impending layoffs. This information confirms what she has been feeling. With this advanced notice, Carl immediately contacts a career recruiting service that had previously sought him out. Everyone has intuitive ability and with a little attention and focus you can learn how to effectively use it. Your intuition can for instance, help you to attract a loving partner, provide valuable insight into others and increase self awareness as to your own sometimes baffling emotional patterns and attractions. Your intuitive knowing can also save you from unnecessary relationship heartache, increase intimacy and help you and your partner to more effectively communicate.

The following steps will help you to tune into and develop your natural intuition.

1. To begin, become aware of how your intuition naturally surfaces. It will emerge primarily through your thoughts, your emotions, your body or your spirit essence.

If you receive intuitive information through your emotions you are an emotional intuitive. You are empathetic and feel what others feel. You give from the heart and most likely you long for a deep authentic loving relationship with a soul mate. Emotional intuitives believe that love can conquer all and are usually sympathetic, compassionate and sometimes vulnerable partners.

A mental intuitive intuits through their thoughts. They often intuit the opinions views and ideas of others. They see the big picture, and their intuitive ability inspires creative ideas and solutions to problems. In relationships mental intuitives need to feel understood, accepted and acknowledged for their keen perception and insight. They tend to be nonjudgmental, open minded and interesting partners.

If you are a physical intuitive you likely absorb the energy of others and the environment into your body. A physical intuitive will often experience their intuition as gut feelings or spontaneous aches and pains. Upon first meeting another they may for no known reason experience tingling shivers up their spine or their stomach may churn and somersault. In relationships a physical intuitive demonstrates love through touch, hugs, hand holding and sexual intimacy.

A spiritual intuitive receives intuitive energy in less tangible ways than the other three types. They may receive intuitive information about their family members and friends in their dreams or through instantaneous impressions. These types of intuitives will sometimes “see” family members who have passed over and they may have visions of the future or of events in distant places. In relationships a spiritual intuitive is likely to fall in love at first sight, be spontaneous, insightful and wise.

2. However your intuition emerges, listen to it. Trust your initial impressions. It is often the first impulse you have about another, even before you know much about them that is the most accurate. Make it a habit to check in and listen for your intuitive responses.

You might want to tune into the signals of your particular intuitive type.

If you are an emotional intuitive notice how you feel around others. Are you quickly comfortable, calm, stressed or anxious? Do you feel opened hearted or self protective?

If you are a mental intuitive you might hear an inner voice telling you that either something is not “right” or that you can relax and trust. Another common intuitive signal for the mental intuitive is an idea or thought that quietly but persistently keeps surfacing.

If you are a physical intuitive check tune into your physical boy. Do you feel tight, tense or relaxed? Do you develop headaches or stomach pains around certain people or situations?

A spiritual intuitive will often intuit in his or her dreams. If you suspect you are a spiritual intuitive, before you go to sleep at night ask for a dream that will help you to understand a particular person or situation. When you wake notice your initial feelings and thoughts and if you can recall a dream, write it down. If you do not understand it, seek help in interpreting it. You might find that it holds valuable information.

3. Once you become aware of an intuitive sensation or impression, spend some time alone where you can be undisturbed and further tune in. Focus within and ask for the message or meaning behind the intuitive sensations. Listen and try not to logically figure this out. Breathe, relax and become receptive. Then trust what you receive.

Be honest about your desires and expectation, about another or a relationship. Your expectations of another will muffle your ability to listen to important vital intuitive information. Be willing to know the truth and release your desired outcome.

Once you consciously begin to develop and align yourself with your intuition, the intuitive messages, sensations and impressions will increase. Be patient with yourself and the process. With time and practice your intuition will strengthen and become more clear and accurate.

Love is a powerful force that is always intuitively guiding you.

© 2010 Sherrie Dillard, author of Love and Intuition: A Psychic’s Guide to Creating Lasting Love

Author Bio

Author of the bestselling Discover Your Psychic Type, Sherrie Dillard has been a New Thought pastoral counselor, professional psychic, medium, and teacher for over twenty years. She has taught classes and workshops, both nationally and internationally, on the life-enhancing aspects of intuition development. Her writing has also appeared in New Age Journal and on Wellness.com and HitchedMag.com.

For more information please visit www.SherrieDillard.com and follow the author on Facebook.

Daily sex makes for healthier sperm

Yahoo News, June 30, 2009

“LONDON (Reuters) – Having sex every day improves the quality of men’s sperm and is recommended for couples trying to conceive, according to new research.

Until now doctors have debated whether or not men should refrain from sex for a few days before attempting to conceive with their partner to improve the chance of pregnancy.

But a new study by Dr David Greening of Sydney IVF, an Australian center for infertility and in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment, suggests abstinence is not the right approach.

He studied 118 men with above-average sperm DNA damage and found the quality of their sperm increased significantly after they were told to ejaculate daily for seven days.”

Read the whole News

Image source: menshealthbase. com

Eliot Deutsch. Advaita Vedanta: A Philosophical Reconstruction. ISBN: 0824802713
Deutsch, former editor of the prestigious journal Philosophy East and West, is professor of philosophy at the University of Hawaii. This short book admirably distills the essence of Advaita Vedanta, the system of non-dualistic thought and philosophy presented by Shankara (ca. 788-820) in which all boundaries and distinctions are unreal, reality is not made up of parts, and “in essence it is not different from the Self.” There is only the Self, Brahman, or the One, a state “which is ultimately a name for the timeless plenitude of being.”

Christopher Isherwood and Swami Prabhavananda, trans. How to Know God: The Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali. ISBN: 0874810418
Patanjali’s Sutras are dated sometime between the fourth century B.C.E. and the fourth century C.E. The teachings offer methods for creating a direct personal experience of God Consciousness, “the Reality which underlies this apparent, ephemeral universe.” According to the text, in order to know God, one must first cease identifying with the mind. Then it is possible to know God everywhere, “both within and without, instantly present and infinitely elsewhere, the dweller in the atom and the abode of all things.”

Christopher Isherwood. Vedanta for the Western World. ISBN: 0874810000
Isherwood, a well-known novelist and playwright, became a follower of Swami Prabhavananda (an Indian monk of the Ramakrishna order) in 1943, after which he authored several books on Indian Vedanta. This book, first published in 1944, presents a collection of essays comparing the principles of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

 Pala Copeland and Al Link.Soul Sex: Tantra for Two. ISBN: 1564146642

Our first book exploring relationship as spiritual practice using Tantric and Taoist approaches to sacred sexuality. We help you learn how to create love for a lifetime together.

Margo Anand. The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers. ISBN: 0874775817

Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger. Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy. ISBN: 0892818050

First published in 1979, this popular book (over 1 million copies sold) presents a concise and articulate overview of the history and philosophy of sacred sex. Practical exercises and meditations are interspersed throughout. It will work well for people who like to know the background of what they are doing and would like to pick and choose and create on their own the activities they will do in their exploration. It overflows with wonderful erotic drawings by Penny Slinger.

Julie Henderson. The Lover Within: Opening to Energy in Sexual Practice. ISBN: 1581770170

Diana Richardson. Tantric Orgasm for Women. ISBN: 0892811331

Excellent presentation of information about the polarity of the different chakras and the role of breasts in the female orgasmic response. The best discussion we have seen of the experience of a valley orgasm. She explains how to relax into a whole-body orgasm rather than achieving it as a goal. 

Ma Ananda Sarita and Swami Anand Geho. Ecstatic Sex: A Guide to the Pleasures of Tantra. ISBN: 074324610

This text explores Tantric sexuality, including basic sexual anatomy, opening your chakras, self-pleasuring, foreplay, creative positions, and orgasm. Ma Ananda Sarita and Swami Anand Geho have taught Tantra at Osho Multiversity in India.

 
Ma Ananda Sarita and Swami Anand Geho. Tantric Love : A Nine Step Guide to Transforming Lovers into Soul Mates. ISBN: 0743215311

This book illustrates ways couples can open to a deeper intimacy. Each chapter focuses on one of the chakras (the body’s energy centers) and offers simple exercises to help you share this energy, opening the door to ecstasy.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Desire: The Tantric Path to Awakening. ISBN: 0892818581

Odier describes his Tantric path as “nothing spectacular…lack[ing] in the exotic, the magickal, the extraordinary….there was no ritual other than to breathe, walk, bathe… to look at the earth, the lichens, the trees, the leaves, common objects; to enter deeply into contact with life, reality.” He suggests that the “luminosity of existence” pervades everything including you. Odier received direct personal Tantric initiation from a Kashmiri Shaivite yogini, Lalita Devi, in the Tantric lineage of the Tibetan master Kalu Rinpoche which dates back several thousand years.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

The Multi-Orgasmic Woman: Discover Your Full Desire, Pleasure, and Vitality. ISBN: 1594860270

This book explores how women can adopt a pleasure orientation with sex rather than seeking orgasm as a goal of lovemaking. Nevertheless, it offers a step-by-step guide for women in becoming multi-orgasmic.

The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know. ISBN: 0062513362
This book is an excellent step-by-step, how-to manual for achieving sexual ecstasy. In spite of the title this book is for women as well as men.

The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. ISBN: 0062516140
Discover how to have multiple whole-body orgasms and how to reach ever more fulfilling levels of intimacy and ecstasy together.

Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy. ISBN: 0935621059
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy. ISBN: 0943358191

Mantak Chia is a master who gives detailed descriptions of the how-to of moving sexual energy. The methods he proposes are very disciplined and therefore work best for people who like structure and have lots of patience and self-motivation. This book is also good for individuals not in relationship, because so much of the work is done on one’s own. Because Chia’s work derives from the Taoist tradition (as opposed to Tantric), there is more emphasis on the physical and practical than the mystical and emotional aspects of the work. These are two of the most important books that Pala and Al used in cutting their teeth on sacred sexuality.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland