All good things,

4freedoms@tantraloving.com

www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com

www.tantra-sex.com

“Afterplay”

In the glow…

What happens after lovemaking is as important as what happens during lovemaking. When the ordinary man ends lovemaking with an involuntary ejaculation, both lovers can feel cheated and disappointed. The male typically wants to roll over and go to sleep or get up and immediately return to some “important” project he is working on. It may be this emotional distance that is most disturbing to females rather than premature ejaculation. Staying emotionally and energetically connected after lovemaking makes your lady feel safe, secure, loved, adored, and respected.

Thank you my darling

For most women a deep emotional and energetic connection is far more important than having lots of orgasms (but lots of orgasms are very nice too!). The superior male lover makes himself emotionally available after lovemaking. This is the time for gentle hugging, kissing and beautiful words of adoration and appreciation for the gifts you have bestowed upon each other.

Excerpted from our Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Show me what you like

Visually, one of the most erotic things is to watch your lover masturbate in complete lusty sexual abandon. A rare, extraordinary treat is to see her ejaculate with the sunshine streaming in through a window (or if you are lying outside), resulting in a kaleidoscope of exotic colors as her squirting juicy nectar diffuses and refracts the rays of light.

We encourage lovers to ask for what they want. You can’t get what you want if your lover does not know what that is. What better way to communicate your lusty desires than to show her how you want to be touched, by touching yourself as she watches adoringly. This requires surrender, a challenging but essential skill for all great male lovers. Many men are more comfortable being the initiator, being in charge, being the doer and giver. But, in Tantric sacred loving, the lead is smoothly passed from one to the other, requiring that both are equally skilled at giving and receiving pleasure.

Men are like fire (heating up and burning out quickly), while women are like water (slowly coming to a boil, but then rolling along for quite some time). If the man has ejaculated and lost his erection, the lady may “finish off what was started” as he holds her lovingly. Or, it may be desirable for the man to take a rest during extended lovemaking, before returning to active intercourse. This is a perfect opportunity for the lady to show her man how she likes to be touched, and how she comes with manual stimulation of her clitoris, her “love button”, whose only purpose is pleasure.

Men, put on an erotic performance for your lady. Dare to give her a sexy strip tease and exotic dance. If you have mastered contracting one muscle at a time while holding all the others completely relaxed, show the observant goddess how you can lift your testicles, bob your penis, tighten your anus or perineum. Culminate with a masturbation ceremony, while she cheers you on with appreciative exclamations of delight. Perhaps she prefers that you come onto her body or into her luscious mouth to end the session. Ask your lady what is her fancy.

Excerpted from Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

NEXT POST: Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions – “Afterplay”

Oral Sex

“69″

Oral loving is a classic way for lovers to serve up pleasure. Really, aren’t you a better person when you regularly experience pleasure? Aren’t you nicer to be around and easier to get along with? Don’t you like yourself better when you are regularly experiencing pleasure?

“Cunnilingus”

“When you give really good head, you are entering the Temple of the Goddess as her Servant, her humble, resourceful, eager to please, wetback, asslickin’, clitsuckin’ servant.” Dr. Susan Block

Sweet copulins pheromones are only produced in the vaginal canal. Men are chemically programmed to want to have their face at your pleasure-treasure cove! Pheromones are the chemical sexual attractants produced by animals to allure the opposite sex to mate. Both males and females produce pheromones. The vomeronasal organ, or Jacobson’s organ, lies between the nose and mouth. With this organ human beings detect the presence of pheromones in their lovers. Even though the vomeronasal organ is located in the nose, pheromones are not scents in the same way a perfume is a scent, but many perfumes now have pheromones added. A man or woman who wears them is reportedly irresistible to the opposite sex.

Many women are under the mistaken assumption that men want a woman with a perfect “10” body, whatever that might be. This is a simple error of judgment that is cause for much suffering in women, and some of the most self-destructive behaviors such as eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. What most men actually want is a woman to completely surrender to her passion in active lovemaking, to love it, to want it, and to enjoy herself completely without shame or guilt. This is the single greatest turn-on for almost every male lover. Men find such a woman completely irresistible, regardless of her body style.

“Oral Sex – Fellatio”

Many men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time and find that it leads to an instant erection. Women on the other hand, generally prefer not to have their breasts and genitals touched until after they are already sexually aroused.  This important gender difference between men and women is the reason why we advise lovers NOT to follow the Golden Rule—don’t do unto your lover what you want done unto you, because they are different things!

One of the most common fantasies for a man is to have a beautiful sexy woman approach him, then without speaking, unzip his pants and suck him off fast and furious, with the whole episode being concluded in a matter of minutes. This fantasy is even juicier if it involves a woman he does not already know and happens in some public place such as at a cocktail party. The lovely lady then simply disappears and he never sees her again—no strings and no complications!

Men are full of contradictions when it comes to blowjobs. They long for them, dream about them, wet-dream about them, and can never seem to get too many, but at the same time they may fear the very thing they desire. For one thing, with many men, fellatio can bring them to ejaculation very quickly. In the fantasy scenario above, this is not a problem, but in ordinary lovemaking it is extremely frustrating and downright embarrassing. If your man is one who tends to come very quickly, it is much better for both of you if you use a slower, gentler build-up of sexual arousal before there is any touching or sucking of that gorgeous stalk of jade

A man may also have a subconscious fear of being devoured by an insatiable, sexually hungry woman. So ladies, when you do take him into your luscious mouth, exploring with pouty lips and probing tongue, beware of frightening him with your voracious sucking hunger of lusty passion. Part of the Dracula myth is based upon man’s fear of being sucked dry out the end of his cock, in intercourse and fellatio.

In a more ordinary lovemaking situation, as opposed to the fantasy of instant-fast-furious-fellatio, what your man is probably most desirous of is a very slow, very tantalizing, very seductive, very playful sucking that lasts on and on and on for a very long time. The way to be sure that he does not come too quickly, is that you must change what you are doing frequently, and as soon as he is showing a stage four, bone-hard erection, allow that erection to subside or he may ejaculate and in that way reject the very pleasure he really wants, and nice guy that he is, deserves.

Excerpted from Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

NEXT POST:Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions – “Show me what you like”

“Sacred Bathing”

Merging in the ocean of consciousness

One perfect way to begin a sacred loving time is to bathe together. Place candles around the bathing area; put fresh or dried flower petals in the water, use bath salts, essential oils and fine herbal soaps.

Washing away cares of the world

Wash each other’s hair and cleanse each other’s bodies—kindly, gently, and passionately. Focus on transcending the cares of the world, bringing your full conscious attention into the present moment for ecstatic lovemaking.

Recommended Reading:

Sacred Ceremony: How to Create Ceremonies for Healing, Transitions, and Celebrations

by Steven D. Farmer, Ph.D.

Excerpted from Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

NEXT POST: Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions – “Oral Sex”

“Sacred Space”

Holy Ground

What is the difference between “sex” and “sacred sex”? Essentially, the difference is your attitude and intention. It is primarily through ceremony and ritual that we communicate with our souls. Creating a sacred space for loving is one of the best ways of signaling to your deepest / highest consciousness that your intention is to elevate lovemaking to an art and a sacrament. In this way the lovers may graduate from ordinary friction sex (in which bodies rub together for pleasure) to energy sex (in which there is a deep emotional and energetic connection), and ultimately if love is present to the complete union of soul sex.

Honoring the God and Goddess

We are all ordinary human beings, and yet we are at once god and goddess, simultaneously flawed and wonderful. In sacred loving each of you brings to it your absolute best, and each of you looks for and expects to find the best in your partner. You treat each other as the god and goddess you actually are. You offer your lovemaking to God as a way to honor Him, to celebrate His love and blessings and to the Goddess for the great abundance that surrounds you.

However attractive your lovemaking space is when you start, take 10-15 minutes to transform it by adding fresh flowers or plants, changing the lighting with lots of candles, selecting the perfect music, draping beautiful pieces of cloth over hard edges, bringing in special objects that have emotional or spiritual significance for both of you such as photographs or gifts you have given each other previously.

Excerpted from Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

NEXT POST: Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions – “Sacred Bathing”

Sexual Fire Breath

The sexual fire breath is one of the best exercises, especially with a partner (but you can also do it alone), for rapidly building a hot sexual charge and moving it up through your body, helping to open all of your chakra centers. In the sexual fire breath you use a combination of sound, pelvic rocking, PC (pubococcygeous) muscle squeezes, deep abdominal breathing, visualization and hand movements.

The sexual fire breath is one of the meditations on Pala Copeland’s CD, Apertio: Tantra Energy Meditations, with lyrics and voice by Pala Copeland, and music by Jeff Davies. Use the sexual fire breath on your own to open yourself to your full exquisite sexual potential. Do it as a charger-upper before making love. Do it during lovemaking as you are being manually or orally stimulated. Do it during intercourse, but be very observant and ready to stop in a flash in the early learning stages or the man may go beyond his point of no return to ejaculate before you are both ready to end the lovemaking. If “energy” is very subtle for you and you don’t usually feel it, try this exercise. Most report really feeling something the very first time they do the sexual fire breath.

Sexual Fire Breath

• Lie on your back. Feet flat on the floor/bed. Knees bent. Legs comfortably apart. Hands at your sides, palms up. Eyes closed.
• Begin to breathe slowly and deeply into your belly.
• Focus your attention on your genitals and visualize drawing breath in and out through them.
• When you have a comfortable breathing rhythm established, begin to rock your pelvis, tilting it up toward the sky. Use your feet to slightly push off the floor so that you are not using your abdominal muscles to rock and they can remain loose and open.
• Inhale as you rock back. Exhale as you rock forward. (Note: some bodies want to do it the opposite way – listen to yours and go with what feels right).
• Make sound as you exhale – AAAAAHHHH. (This is the most difficult part for many people but it helps enormously, sound carries the energy).
• When you are in a comfortable rhythm, add PC Pumping. Tighten your PC muscles as you rock back. Relax them as you rock forward. (Note: your body might want to do it the opposite way, let it.).
• Begin to visualize your sexual energy as a great ball of golden fire in your genitals. As you rock, breathe and pump draw the golden fireball up through your chakra centers, one chakra at a time.
• Send the energy out through your crown chakra into the universe. Do not leave it to build up in your head. If you are making love with a partner, you can also pass the energy to him through your eyes, your kiss, your breath.
• Pass your hands in flowing motions up your body to help with the energy movement.
• Breathe more rapidly to move the energy higher within your body, allowing yourself to open into its flow.
• When you reach a high edge of energetic arousal you can maintain this level by deepening and slowing your breathing and keeping your body relaxed.
• Rest in stillness for a few moments when you are finished practicing so that the energy can continue to flow through you. Bring it back down and store it in your belly chakra for later use.
• If you have left a store of energy in your head and feel some congestion there do Grounding and apply firm pressure with your fingertips to your crown chakra.

Excerpted from Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland
NEXT POST:Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions – “Sacred Space“

“Erotic Massage”

Primarily for arousal, erotic massage focuses, although not exclusively, on tantalizing skin-to-skin contact that becomes increasingly sexual as the massage continues. Using light, feathery touches begin moving inwards from the extremities of your lover’s body, for example from her toes, up her feet, to calves and thighs, stopping just short of her genitals, or her fingers to palms to inner elbows to armpits and almost to her nipples. Only slowly, as her body awakens under your teasing touch do you move on to actually caress her hot sexual spots.

With erotic massage you may use not only your hands but also your tongue, lips, hair or other exotic aids like feathers and even ice cubes. Add more spice with a blindfold or by loosely binding your lover’s wrists and ankles to the bed corners so she is at your tender mercy.

Not all massages are equal; some are more for relaxation and energetic revival, while others can be particularly erotic building high states of passion and sexual excitement. A simple blindfold will add a note of mystery to any erotic massage.

A teasing, sensual, erotic massage is a wonderful gift to each other, as exciting and satisfying for the giver as the receiver. While your lover is blindfolded, entice him with mysterious sounds, scents, and sensations. Touch him all over with feathers, ice cubes, hot oil, silk cloth, and parts of yourself, of course. Appeal to all five senses in your tantalizing play.

Excerpted from Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

Al Link and Pala Copeland

NEXT POST: Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions – Sexual Fire Breath