January 28, 2010
My partner is not satisfied with me

Sir I am having a problem that I get discharged very quickly during intercourse and also I am not having full erections. My partner is not satisfied with me as she takes a long time in her orgasm and I am not able to bring her to her orgasm during intercourse. Can you guide me in this regard please?
ANSWER
You must learn to work consciously with your hot sexual energy. The first step is to start doing PC squeezing. Squeeze the genital muscles as if you were stopping the flow of urine midstream. Hold the squeeze for 5-8 seconds, then relax the squeeze for 2 seconds, repeat for approximately 100 repetitions per day. You do not need to do all 100 at one time, but over the course of the day. Use some regular task or occurrence to help you remember to do the squeezing, e.g., while standing in line, sitting in a meeting, working at a computer, etc.
We have a complete instruction manual in our eBook, Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms. If you systematically work through that course within a few weeks, or perhaps months you will gain the ability to maintain hard erections and delay your ejaculation response.
Regarding your comment that she takes a long time to come to orgasm, you are framing that in a most peculiar way. What is a long time? In sacred sexual practices, e.g., Tantric and Taoist, the lovemaking is extended over a period of hours, perhaps 4 hours or more. The quick lovemaking that is so common is only because men have not learned mastery of the ejaculation response. But remember, fast only means quick to end. Why anyone would settle for quick to end in lovemaking, is a mystery to me. Of course men must learn mastery to make ejaculation voluntary, therefore not premature, and perhaps some men are not willing to go to that effort, hence they project this inadequacy onto their female partners by making such statements as “she takes too long to come to orgasm,” as if there were something wrong with her. In fact all that is needed is for the male to learn erection and ejaculation mastery, which is not that difficult to do, if you follow our simple instructions and do the repetitive practices to gain the necessary skill.
For a woman to have orgasms during intercourse, the man must be able to last without ejaculating, much longer than 15 or 20 minutes. But even more important than that is to be sure she is completely aroused and excited, preferably to the point of already having a clitoral orgasm, before there is any penetration by the penis. Vaginal orgasms are primarily dependent upon a very high level of sexual excitement and very high charge of hot sexual energy. This means foreplay must last perhaps one hour or more to achieve such intensities. As you both become more sensitive to and aware of sexual energy, and learn to work with intentionally with it, the male will naturally be able to last longer and the female will be able to become orgasmic much more quickly.
Our ebook Awakening Women’s Orgasm, teaches women how to do this.
You may also wish to consult this excellent instructional video on strengthening the erection and delaying ejaculation.
TANTRIC YOGA & SEXUAL KUNG FU FOR MEN by Loren Johnson.
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