Is there a way for us to feel fulfilled and energized?

A man and I have fallen in love. He lives in the UK, and I am in the US. We have a very strong spiritual connection, as well as a physical desire for each other.  We stare at each other online for a long period of time, sometimes having a fantasy together, using only typed words, audio, video or all 3.  We find ourselves feeling weary. Is there a way for us to feel fulfilled and energized online, rather than depleted?  Is not being able to physically touch the reason we are left weary and depleted? We are both over 60!

ANSWER

You’ve created an interesting challenge for each other! It sounds both fulfilling and frustrating for you.

To make a connection over great physical distance, you can focus on your energetic body, not your physical body — energy bodies can go anywhere

 
Begin by focusing intently on your physical body, starting at your head and very slowly feeling each part of you all the way down to your feet. Notice where there is tension, where you are relaxed, areas that you don’t really notice any sensation. Be sure to breathe slowly and deeply to help you relax. When you are tuned in to your body endeavor to feel the energy body that lives within, you may feel a subtle vibration. If it helps you can visualize a light shape within that mirrors the shape of your body. When you have that image, let go of it and endeavor just to feel the energetic self.

 
Put your attention into your heart energy centre (also known as the "anahata chakra") in the middle of your chest, right between your nipples. This is the area for emotions and relationships. Let your love for each other build in this centre. Next, one partner focuses on sending the love out to the other partner, the other focuses on opening the heart centre to receive the love. Then switch, take turns sending and receiving.

 
You can do many experiments in connecting through your energy bodies. Do a Google search about working with your energy body, also check out working with chakras.

 
A great book on learning about your energetic self is The Lover Within by Julie Henderson.
 

Remember also, that computers give off subtle electrical energy that you can absorb and that can add to your feeling depleted. It’s very important to be in a positive mental and physical state when you are using them. Try this Grounding exercise (below) to help you let go of any negative effects you may pick up.

All the best, Pala

GROUNDING

Grounding is a simple and quick way to become calm, centered, and present. Your intention while Grounding is to release tension, blockages, and negative energies from your system. You replace them with Mother Earth energy—strong, serene, and full of sensual vitality.
 

As you begin, it’s important to remember that, for some people, “energy” can be very subtle. You may not notice anything happening internally when you first try techniques like Grounding. Visualizing and sensing energy flow might seem elusive and difficult. If that’s the case for you, know that your intention is what’s most important. Your energy will go where your intention directs it, whether you can consciously feel it right away, or not.

1.Sit comfortably, your feet flat on the floor, your back straight but not rigid, your hands in your lap, or on your thighs.

2.Close your eyes.

3.Take a big breath in and let it out. Repeat.

4.Relax your shoulders and belly.

5.Focus your attention on your lower belly and your genitals.

 
6.When your concentration on these parts of your body is strong, begin to imagine a connection extending from your body, from your genitals, down into the earth.

7.This can be any image that naturally occurs to you, or that you consciously choose. For example, it could be a tree trunk, a waterfall, an extension of your flesh, a hollow tube.

 
8.Picture that image stretching down from your body, through the chair you’re sitting on, through the floor beneath you, down through the ground below the building you’re in, down through the rock, the bedrock, and the earth’s crust, all the way to the molten core at the center of the earth. Some people may feel or hear their connection to the earth’s core, rather than see it—whatever your experience is, it’s the right one.

9.When you have your connection clearly formed, allow any overwhelming sensations, any negative energies, to leave your body through your lower belly and genitals, through your connecting bridge, down to the earth’s core.

10.Consciously release any anxiety, mental distraction, physical discomfort, fear, tiredness, doubt, judgment, over-excitement. Whatever you do not want in your system, allow it to flow down through your body, through your connection, like sand in an hourglass, or water down a drain.

11.   When those unwanted sensations reach the earth’s core, they are transformed in that fiery blast. They return to you as Mother Earth energy. It rises up through your connection, bringing calm, strength, and sensual vitality.

 
12.   Continue directing negative energies to flow down and away, and allow liveliness, serenity, and power to rise up into you.

13.   To help you return to this grounded state more easily next time, use the process called anchoring. Touch a spot on your body that’s easy to reach and easy to remember. “Anchor” this grounded state to that spot. Later, touching that spot, as you focus on grounding, will help you return quickly to the grounded state.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

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