He want to have sex all the time
December 7, 2009 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I’m in a relatively new relationship with a 45 year old man who wants sex all the time. He said he would be happy if he could get it at least twice a day. If he doesn’t get it he definitely is unhappy and has even gone as far as being angry at times thinking I led him to believe we would have sex and it didn’t happen. He is recently divorced and said sex was an issue during the marriage – he wanted it more than she did. I think our sexual relationship is pretty normal; three to four times a week of fun satisfying sex. But I don’t want it every day, and no matter how much I talk to him about it and give him what I feel are valid reasons – mood, timing, sore, even me having the flu wasn’t a deterrent – I actually think he was disappointed I was sick. He’s a nice guy but I feel sometimes he’s acting like a spoiled little boy. We’ve had some serious conversations about this, as well as conversations about his jealousy. Is there hope that he will chill out? Is there language I can use to help him understand my position? I’m about at the point where I want to say, “go out and find someone else who wants it as much as you do and leave me alone!”
ANSWER
It is unlikely that his libido will decrease anytime soon, almost certainly not until he reaches his early 60s when there is a significant drop in his free testosterone. So you will either have to increase your willingness to have sex more frequently, or he will have to voluntarily decrease his, but the latter option is something you say he is either unwilling or unable to do. If this situation is unacceptable to you, it may be time to look for a new partner.
On the other hand, if you really love each other, there are ways you can learn to work with this situation.
First, he can begin learning the secrets of sexual mastery as taught by practitioners of Tantric and Taoist sacred sexuality. This will enable him to engage with you in extended lovemaking, over a period of hours, during which you become completely satisfied and fulfilled. Most women are much more willing to have many quickies at other times during the week as long as they have an extended lovemaking that leaves them satiated, including multiple orgasms.
Second, you will discover that even if you don’t feel like making love, just starting the touching, kissing, caressing, massaging, and other aspects of lovemaking commonly referred to as foreplay, usually results in your becoming sexually aroused. In other words, the actions of lovemaking increase your desire, rather than waiting until you feel like it, before you start making love. This becomes more and more significant as both of you age and libido starts to drop for both of you.
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