I recently married and would like to have oral sex with my wife.
November 18, 2009 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I recently married and would like to have oral with my wife. But I’m afraid if she would accept it. Is there any way to figure out whether she will agree or not with oral?
ANSWER
It is not unheard of, but somewhat unusual for any woman not to like receiving oral sex. So I hope this information boosts your confidence in trying oral sex with your wife. Almost certainly she will like this aspect of lovemaking.
Of course, some skill on your part would be helpful, so you may want to consult a video or two showing you how to perform cunnilingus. Most adult shops will carry such videos. Or you can view them online. Here is an excellent source of quality videos: New School of Erotic Touch
We also offer some oral sex video instruction at our membership website: Sexy Spiritual Relationships.
The simplest, most direct and honest approach would be to have a conversation with her, but not during lovemaking, rather sometime before lovemaking so it is separated from the actual lovemaking, about oral sex. Ask her if she would like to experiment with you performing cunnilingus for her pleasure. Let her know you are just learning and ask her to help you find what she really likes, what really turns her on and gives her the most pleasure. Be sure she knows this is a gift you give to her, but at the same time let her know that you really desire to do this, and while you are doing it let her know how wonderful it is for you.
On the other hand, if you mean you want your wife to perform oral for you, fellatio, then it is unfortunately true that many women are reluctant to do so, are afraid of doing fellatio, and might resist such a suggestion. I have no idea of what percentage of women would be uncomfortable at the idea of performing oral sex on a man, but it is a high number. In any case, the recommendation is the same.
Talk about it in a non-sexual setting, either before or after lovemaking. Don’t just spring it on her in the middle of lovemaking. Give her every opportunity to explain to you how she feels about the idea. If she is reluctant, honor that and give her time to gradually warm to the idea. Let her know how important it would be to you for her to give you that gift and perhaps she would be willing to experiment, carefully with trying it.
If she is reluctant about performing fellatio, then reassure her that you will not unexpectedly come in her mouth, and do not grab her head and force yourself deep into her mouth, etc. A little common sense is required on your part to let her learn about fellatio slowly at a speed she is comfortable with; be very patient with her learning. And reward her lavishly with praise for each small step on that learning path. Let her know how fabulous whatever she does is for you and avoid any form of correction or criticism. Save your instructions for how you want her to do it primarily for when you are talking about it, but not actually doing it.
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