I have started an intimate relationship with him.
October 26, 2009 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I just reunited with a friend that I grew up with. It has always been a platonic relationship where he was always sexually attracted to me. He is younger than I in which I never considered giving him a chance. Now that we are older (33 and 43) I have started an intimate relationship with him. I do not know if I hurt his ego when saying his penis was not really big but since then he has been on a penis withdrawal. He wishes for me to give him oral fellatio something that I do not do much but don’t mind doing so with him. Also he does not give oral sex to women which bothers me. Should I feel some kind of way or just let it go and hopefully it will work itself out? I feel used and stupid at times and think something is wrong with me because he does not want sex or it is he is making me want him enough that it will be good? He gives wonderful compliments like I am beautiful, sexy and he especially likes my bow-legged pigeon-toed walk. What should I do?
ANSWER
1. Ask for what you want. There is no need to compromise on what you need and want sexually. Depending upon how important those needs are (for example receiving oral sex from him), if he can’t or won’t help you be fulfilled sexually in the ways you desire, then move on to find a new partner.
2. I would assume you have wounded him with any offhand comments about his penis size. Men are typically super sensitive to any such remarks, and some men find it impossible to forget or forgive. Go to any lengths to help him feel good about his penis (letting him know how much you love, admire and adore it—for example by giving him good head), to overcome any feelings of inadequacy, and performance anxiety (almost certainly this is why he might be hesitant to have sexual intercourse with you). But you must be very tactful and considerate of any sensitivity he already has and just bringing it up again could actually make things worse. So be very respectful and creative in how you do try to repair any damage to his masculine self esteem he may already have perceived.
3. By all means please him orally if you can bring yourself to enjoy it. Learning to enjoy giving him oral sex is probably the single most important thing you can do to salvage and repair the current situation.
4. Ignoring this and hoping it will just go away is the worst thing you could do; definitely not recommended as a viable strategy for you to follow.
Popularity: 24% [?]
Have a question about something you don’t want to ask anyone else or feel you can’t? It doesn’t have to be an embarrassing question though. Maybe you just have a relationship issue that you need to bounce off someone else. We are here for you. We are happy to hear from you and will do our best to address your question in a timely fashion. 
