Will I grow out of this ‘non-relationship type’ stage?
August 19, 2009 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
Every time I am in a relationship with someone I find a reason to get out of it. I either find a flaw in my mate, I start to feel suffocated, or I just get plain bored of the situation. Is something wrong with me, or will I grow out of this ‘non-relationship type’ stage?
ANSWER
You sound like most people who look to an external someone or something to bring them happiness — when that doesn’t happen, you look elsewhere. So, first, start looking inside to create happiness, excitement, romance, etc. then your relationships will be much more fulfilling. Second, when you are looking to create a relationship, focus on the qualities of the relationship you’d like to create, rather than the characteristics of a partner you’d like to attract. For instance, rather than "I’d like a partner who is a great lover, funny, rich, and affectionate", concentrate on "I’d like a relationship that is sexually fulfilling, full of humour, prosperous, and full of love." This way you co-create your relationship with another. It’s not all up to your partner, nor is it all up to you. The two of you together make something worthwhile — much more satisfying, more real, and more likely to last.
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