How can I tell him that I lied?
August 7, 2009 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I went online with no intention of ever actually finding someone to date. But I did meet this guy and we started emailing and texting and now we talk on the phone every night. At first, for fear he wasn’t who he said he was, I gave him a fake first, middle, and last name. Now we have fallen for each other and want to meet. Besides the fact of lying about my name everything else was the truth. In fact besides my name he knows more about the real me then my closest friends. Any advice on how to tell him that I lied about my name? I have a fear that he will think everything else is a lie but it’s not. How can I tell him that I lied about my name because of security purposes and still make him want to be with me?
ANSWER
It is completely understandable and normal, and at the same time unfortunate that this seems necessary, to not divulge information to people you meet online, or to divulge incorrect information, including a false name, until you have had a chance to prove the authenticity and trustworthiness of the one you are communicating with. This offers some protection against weirdoes, perverts and predators, of which there is an abundance on the Internet disguising themselves as ordinary, nice people. So this is a no-brainer; just tell him about your deception and why you felt compelled to act this way. If he takes offense to that then he is not worth any further attention. In that case look elsewhere for companionship. However, if you intend to meet with this person be sure to do so in a public place where your safety is insured. Also, know that many people find mates, including people they go on to marry through an Internet introduction, so definitely this is a legitimate way to meet people.
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