The Secret in relationship: couples can attract and create relationship happiness for a lifetime together – Part IV

Here is the fourth of four parts excerpted from our book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn 2007, Part I The Four Freedoms, Chapter 2: The Second Freedom: Mind.

In this excerpt we explain how you can attract to you exactly the relationship you desire, and how to act to support creating and re-creating that relationship for a lifetime together.

Part IV explains using Mind Freedom to transform your relationship so that it brings you enduring happiness.

Using your Mind Freedom to Transform your Relationship

When you turn the keys of mind freedom you unlock the potential for a truly satisfying union. By paying attention to your relationship, focusing on the qualities you want it to exhibit, and seeing your part in it you can break free from limited societal models and forge a bond that is your own creation—one that is uniquely and satisfyingly you.

You can use your mind freedom to help transform some of the common relationship fallacies that you are subtly and overtly bombarded with everyday.

Transform: One partner is responsible for taking care of the relationship; the other is responsible for finance and practicalities of the world.

Into: There is shared interaction and responsibility for relationship success, and shared responsibility for practicalities of the world.

Transform: Relationship is such a basic thing that I should know how to do it—there’s something wrong with me/you if we don’t know how.

Into: Nobody starts out knowing how to do relationship, it requires life long learning.

Transform: A satisfying relationship is based on the characteristics of the partners.

Into: A satisfying relationship is based on the qualities of the relationship, which we are equally responsible for creating together.

Transform: Commitment to a relationship means the end of freedom.

Into: Relationship success is a heroic accomplishment ranking with becoming Olympic gold medal champions. Commitment to a relationship provides me with an opportunity to heal myself and to become truly free. It provides an unequaled opportunity to express greatness and realize deep happiness.

When you make choices with attention, intention and awareness you will discover that ‘creativity knows no bounds’. Reach for your dream and you will unleash resources you did not know you had. In response to the challenge of manifesting your choices you will develop your knowledge and skill, you will soar beyond all previous limits, you will unlock the power of synchronicity whereby the Universe and God come to your assistance in ways that are astonishing. You can have all that you want: true happiness, material abundance, vibrant health and enduring love.

Being Free and Getting What You Want

• An axiom of Mind Freedom is that you get more of what you pay attention to.
• A little understood corollary is that attention equals choice.
• In other words, you are choosing to have more of the subject matter of your attention.
• An enlightened human being pays attention to, or thinks about, only what he does want.

This is one meaning of higher consciousness. It is not possible to prevent all negative thoughts from entering your mind, but you always have the choice of whether to attach your attention to them by thinking about them, or to let them go. Furthermore, if you choose to think about something, you can think about it in a positive rather than a negative way.

Paying attention to and thinking about relationship in the correct way is of primary importance to your relationship success. How you think about relationship is typically dictated by learned, conditioned behaviors, beliefs and assumptions. Many of these are negative and lead you from one relationship failure to another. It is essential that you become aware of relationship negative messages you give to others and yourself and then intentionally shift those to positive messages. In other words, in thinking about relationship be sure to concentrate on what you do want rather than what you don’t want.

Here are two examples:

1. Having time for each other. Want more time with your partner?

a. Focus on your desire to be together. Picture the moments you’ve had together and the pleasure that brings.

b. If other thoughts begin to intrude, whining, “But we have so much to do, we can’t take time even though I want to. Other things are more pressing.” let them pass through.

c. Replace them with “We do have a lot going on in our lives but we’re important and I want more time together. I know we can find some way to make that happen.”

d. Possibilities will present themselves, situations will arise when you can choose to spend time together—or not. Seize those opportunities.

2. Sustainability of Relationships. Want to spend a lifetime with your mate?

a. Picture the two of you growing happy and healthy together into old age.

 b. When learned assumptions insinuate themselves into your head: “Most relationships don’t last”; “Passion dies;” “Lovers grow apart” send those thoughts out the window.

 c. Replace them with “Our relationship will thrive throughout the years.”

 d. Act on every opportunity that emerges to intensify your connection.

 
Thought Experiment

In this experiment you focus on your relationship with a partner or spouse. Later you can use the same technique to focus on other things that are important in your life. For one day endeavor to think only about what you do want. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about what you don’t want, gently stop and refocus your attention onto what you do want. Either

1. change the subject matter of your attention (what you are thinking about), or
2. change how you are thinking about what you are thinking about, in other words shift from negative thoughts to positive thoughts about the same subject.  

It is also okay to think about things you want but do not believe are possible.

After making it through one day, tackle another in the same disciplined manner. See how many days you can go with predominately positive thoughts about only what you do want. You will notice differences in your life:

1. The quality of your experiences will be transformed.
2. This will happen quite quickly.
3. You will begin to get more of what you do want.

All this occurs because you are exercising your right and responsibility of Mind Freedom.

This same message, that you attract to yourself whatever you hold in your thought and imagination, is the core teaching in the hugely popular book The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, published November 2006 and already selling over 2 million copies!

The Secret (Book)

 
The Secret – (Video – Amazon.com Retail New $29.95)

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra invites you to watch the full feature DVD movie of The Secret absolutely FREE:

Popularity: 4% [?]