Thursday, February 9, 2012

He expects me to contact him every now and then.

May 27, 2009 by Al Link  
Filed under Questions and Answers

My hubby went to a company outing and he’d been gone for four days. We agreed that I would wait for his call every now and then so we could talk. I don’t want to send him text messages or be the one to call him on his cell because he just might not be there to answer it. He calls me 3 times a day, each lasts for 3 minutes (cause that’s the promo he registered on). In each of the calls, he would ask me how I was and before we could talk, the 3-minute call is over.

Now, what I wanted was to talk to him, really talk, you know, update me on what’s happening to him, and vice versa. Of the four days he’d  been gone, all he did was call to ask me how I was. That is so frustrating because there is a promo that lets you talk for 20 minutes for a very low cost. I already suggested that he register for that, but he didn’t.

I guess he is enjoying so much that calling and talking to me is such a nuisance. That is what I feel and it is reinforced when he came home, feeling achy all over. I asked him if he ever did feel pain while at the beach, and he said no. I feel so left out. When he’s at a party or anywhere without me, he forgets me. But when I’m out, he expects me to contact him every now and then.

 
ANSWER

You are not expecting too much. Have you shared with him how bad it makes you feel that he behaves this way?

Let him know how much it hurts you when he treats you this way, and explain to him exactly what you want him to do to fix it, e.g., get the longer minutes plan.

The most important thing to share with him, if you are going to have any chance at getting him to change his behavior is that in this situation (or whatever the situation is), you are being emotionally hurt and/or you are afraid. Telling this to him, means that you are opening your heart by becoming very emotionally transparent and vulnerable, and if he really loves you, knowing this will also open his heart, motivating him to take corrective action so you will stop hurting and stop being afraid.
 

If all you tell him is that you are angry, it will just make him want to be away from you more. If you let him know that you are hurting and afraid and he does not respond to knowing that, it means that he does not love you.

 

Al Link and Pala Copeland
 
Sexy Spiritual Relationships
 
 
 

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