April 29, 2009

Is there a conscious exercise?

I have been a practitioner of yoga for quite some time now, the 'heart and crown' approach. The tantric approach seems new to me, but I need to explore it in order to deal with sex. I have developed a good control for not ejaculating, and feeling the power of the afterglow. But now I have a semen build up and its causing aches. You say to let your body absorb it, or let it flow all over the body (I have even heard it going up the spine). But what can I do to spread the sex energy from below to the rest of the body or upwards? Is there a conscious exercise? If I let it go and ejaculate it would defeat the purpose of my efforts and drain me of the energy build up, leaving me in negative instead of having energy.

ANSWER

Is sounds like you must be using control to stop the ejaculation. This is not a viable long-term strategy. Control is the enemy of ecstasy as control stops the flow of energy. The energy must move and flow if you are going to have any higher more spiritual experience. Focus your attention on what you do want, not on what you don't want. Up to now I would say you must have been focusing on what you don't want, ejaculation, but instead, focus on what you do want, to move and circulate the energy away from your genitals, up through the rest of your body.

It is like a pressure cooker in the genitals, and as the hot sexual energy builds there, it will become painful, like an inflammation, if that energy is not released. Since you are able to stop the ejaculation, you are experiencing this discomfort. However, if you successfully move the energy away from your prostate, up through the rest of your body, you will not have any of that discomfort, even if you do not ejaculate.

You move the energy by doing PC squeezes, i.e., squeeze the muscles in the genital area as if you were stopping the flow of urine mid-stream. Breath in a slow deep deliberate way, and visualize the energy moving from your genitals up the spinal column to the crown of your head, then down the front of your body back to your genitals. When you are finishing your practice, end by depositing the energy (putting your attention) in the belly chakra area, about halfway between the pubic bone and the navel.

Ok, in light of this I have just a few more questions. Can this practice be done after intercourse or sex, once the energy is in store, or does it only have to be done while either intercourse or masturbation? Does it work as the sexual activity is taking place? Because I have this idea that you build it up, and then you move it up on your own after the sexual encounter, if it is possible. Otherwise you are saying that while sexual activity is taking place, it is the best time to practice what you say? And lastly, what are you to do when you get the irresistible feeling to ejaculate, and not control it? Does it still even happen if your method is practiced correctly? Are you saying I just have to let it go? I just have trouble understanding the idea behind it in general.

ANSWER

You must learn to work with the hot sexual energy and this includes lots of practice alone and then you bring the skill and mastery into your actual lovemaking experience. In short, you practice these methods before, during and after lovemaking with a partner.

I suggest you delay ejaculation by any methods possible for as long as possible (i.e., over a period of days, weeks and even months), but with the focus on learning to successfully move the hot sexual energy away from the prostate, not simply using muscular control and will power to stop the ejaculation.

Continuously practicing, over a period of months, methods (as suggested in my previous answer above – PC squeezing, breathing, and visualization) for moving the energy will yield amazing results. However, in the meantime, whenever your prostate gets sore, you must then allow yourself to ejaculate to let off the accumulated energy, pressure, inflammation. After ejaculation your prostate will be returned to a state of comfort.

It will not be helpful to beat yourself up psychologically and feel bad emotionally that you have somehow “failed” in your practice when you must ejaculate. On the contrary, I never suggest making ejaculation into an enemy, something bad or by its nature undesirable. Rather the idea is to learn mastery by which ejaculation becomes completely voluntary, if and when you (and your partner) are ready for it. When you do ejaculate, make it a celebration and if possible a joyful event filled with pleasure and love.