ANSWER

Sexual interaction isn't just a matter of raging hormones and what your body desires, the emotional aspects are equally important. You seem to have an understanding of that simply by your question — wondering if making out and "dry humping" is appropriate for someone your age.


No matter how far you decide to go sexually, it's imperative that every part of YOU is in agreement. Sexual activity should happen without guilt, without pressure, with a clear understanding of the responsibilities of connecting so intimately with another person. Your mind and your heart as well as your body, should feel like this is something you wholeheartedly want to do. Make sure you communicate very clearly with your partner what you're thinking and feeling.


Understand too, that when you are in the heat of the moment, especially if you are "dry humping" naked or only partially clothed, that it can be overwhelmingly easy to move on to actual penetration. Before you know it you can be having intercourse.

 
So, always when considering any kind of sexual activity, it's important to investigate and use safer sex precautions. It's too easy to fool yourself into thinking that you won't go that far or that nothing will happen if you do. Both you and your partner are responsible together.
 

Learning about your sexuality is an exciting part of growing up. Approach it with the respect it deserves and you'll be fine.
 

One of the best methods for relieving raging hormones and learning more about your sexual response is self-pleasuring (masturbation). This is a perfectly normal activity and just about the safest sexual exploration :). Below is a self-pleasuring ritual for women, from our book Soul Sex: Tantra for Two.


Self-pleasuring Ritual

Arrange a loving space for yourself—soft lighting, comfortable pillows, sensuous music, aromatic scents, and beautiful objects. Make sure you will not be disturbed for at least an hour. This is very important because getting out of your mind and into your body is a key to opening up to full sexual pleasure. If you are worried about being interrupted you won’t be able to let go into your play.


Approach your loving from the outside in—start with delicate strokes of your arms, face, neck, and thighs. Use your fingertips, a feather, and a piece of silk to lightly tantalize your tender skin. If it helps to arouse you, begin your self-loving with an erotic fantasy. But once you are turned on, let the fantasy go and focus on what is happening in your body. Remember, to fly free in sexual bliss you need to leave your “daily mind” behind.

 
Begin to massage your breasts, try a light touch with large circles—counterclockwise then clockwise and gradually increase the pressure. Move slowly in toward your nipples. Experiment with tweaking them, pulling them, gentling circling them until they are stiff and tingling. You may feel a direct line of heat from your breasts down to your genitals.


Trail one hand down across the flesh of your belly, reveling in the softness of your skin, its warmth and sensitivity. Feel your pulse racing beneath its surface. Flutter your hand across the fluffy bush of your pubic hair. Delight at its texture—is it thick and crinkly, long and fine? Is there a light dusting of hair or a full coarse bush?

 
Move gently to explore your vulva—the fleshy outer lips and the welcoming inner lips. Explore with delicate, tentative and awe-filled fingers. Find the clitoris—its hood, shaft, and glans. Slip your fingers gently past your perineum and on to your anus. Allow yourself to consider this “forbidden gate” as a source of potential pleasure.

 
Begin the dance of your fingers. Use plenty of good quality lubricant. Stimulate your clitoris, start slowly and build up speed and pressure. Try different spots—the sides and the head. Build your pleasure up and then slow it down. Tease yourself with loving playfulness. With your other hand continue to stroke your body or brush your nipples. Touch your heart center to deepen the connection between sex and loving.


Dip your fingers into your honey-pot. Squeeze your fingers with your ever-strengthening PC muscles. Moisten your fingers with your juices—smell them and taste them. There are many female aromas and tastes—tart, pungent, salty, and sweetish. Yours are uniquely you.


Increase the speed and pressure of your stimulation. When you find a stroke or combination that gives you particular pleasure continue it. If you have not had much experience with orgasm, if your clitoris does not seem particularly sensitive to stimulation you may want to experiment with a vibrator.  Perhaps you may want to use one hand to stimulate your clitoris and the other inside your pulsing vagina. Or you may want to use a dildo for vaginal pleasure. Lightly tap the perineum as if you were pulsing out a rhythm on a fine hand drum. Circle your anus; teasingly insert a brave finger inside. Dare to feel everything you’ve dreamed of. Doing the Sexual Fire Breath as you love yourself will help to increase your pleasure.


As you practice self-pleasuring do not hurry to reach orgasmic release. You are your own lover—you have all the time in the world to come to bliss. Increasingly bring yourself to the edge of orgasm then slow down, relax your body, breathe deeply. Picture sending that intense sensation through your whole body. When you do go into orgasmic contraction use slow controlled breathing to ride the wave longer and longer. Your orgasms will increase in intensity and will move throughout your body rather than be centered in your genitals.

 
To complete your self-pleasuring ritual rest for a while, breathe deeply and enjoy the sensations coursing through your body. Thank yourself, aloud, for giving yourself this wondrous gift. Tell yourself, aloud, “I love you _______” (speak your name).

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