ANSWER

Your boyfriend has a serious sexual health challenge, mental, not sexually transmitted disease. Erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation are very common problems among men around the world. Sometimes they are easily treated and other times they persist for a lifetime, causing much anguish for their partners who do not understand what is going on and who may fear it is their fault, that they are not sexy enough, not attractive enough, not sexually skilled enough, etc. None of these things are the problem. The problem is entirely with the man who has these symptoms, not with his partner.


Our book Soul Sex: Tantra For Two is an excellent resource for you to use if you choose to stick this out and help him work through it. Read the book together, talk about all the ideas, and systematically do all the exercises. By the time you are through the book in this detailed way, he should be, for the most part, over his ED. If not, you are likely facing a very long term recovery, or possibly no recovery.


He could check with a medical doctor for treatable conditions, but since you had great sex to begin with and since he can get erections with a lot of coaxing along and much stimulation by you, a medical condition is not likely the problem.  His therapy might help if his therapist is a good one, but this process can take years and may or may not help at all. Mostly it is up to him to be willing to confront whatever demons exist within him and heal himself. The most important first step is wanting to heal and then being willing to do the emotionally uncomfortable inner work of facing those demons.


If he is not willing to work through our book with you in the way I describe, I suggest you might consider moving on to find a new partner.

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