February 4, 2009

Is she interested?

I need help. I am married and two years ago ran into one of my ex-girlfriends who is also married. I started talking to her, then she gave me her email address, at first I complimented her and pretty much told her I still had feelings for her. We met one night at a ball game and talked for a hour or so.

After a month or so she made the statement to stop saying nice things about her that her husband may read her email and get the wrong idea. I thought I had overstepped my bounds. The other day she emailed me and wanted to meet me in town, we did, we talked for hours, she took me and met her daughter and grandbaby, when we went to leave she hugged me and held on for a while. I told her how I felt about her, she has not yet told me how she feels.

Although she gave me her phone number, called me for 3 days after our meeting, and invites me over to her house regular to meet her husband, she says that me and him have a lot in common. I am confused and she tiptoes around every question I ask about how she feels. What should I do? Is she interested?

ANSWER

Get clear within yourself about what you really want. Consider all the people involved in this situation including your wife and children (if you have any), your ex-girlfriend's husband and her children. All of these people are going to be affected by the actions you take. When people have an affair and get caught, their spouse will almost always say, "What hurts me the most is all the lying and deception, the humiliation of it all." Do you really want to do that to her, because inevitably the affair will come to light, your wife will almost certainly find out about it.

Let your wife know you are thinking about an affair, before you actually have the affair. Discuss with her what this means about your marriage. Include her in your decision. Have your ex-girlfriend do the same with her husband.

Hint: you might want to do something else first even before you each talk to your spouses. Ask your ex-girlfriend straight out, what her intentions are and insist on an answer. If she won't answer clearly, stay clear. This could make it unnecessary for you to have the conversation with your wife.

Whichever way you proceed, the most important thing is for you to get clear about your marriage.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Sexy Spiritual Relationships

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