I get nerves before I have sex
November 24, 2008 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I have had this problem all my life. Sometimes I get nerves before I have sex and I can’t hold an erection because my mind is everywhere but having sex. Other times I am calmed down and I am fine. My problem is the last three times I went to have sex I got nerves and now I don’t want to try for fear of it happening again. What do you think I should do?
ANSWER
Here is a simple, but powerful meditation to help you get out of your head but stay in your body and in the moment.
Sensory Information Meditation
Focus directly on the information coming to your awareness through your 5 senses: seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting, and touching. Take in the sensory information directly, but stop short of going on to name what you see, smell, hear, taste and feel (kinesthetic sensation, not emotional feeling, e.g., heat, pressure, weight, friction contact, etc). It would be as if you were an infant and you did not have any names for these sensations.
As soon as you name something, it will be almost instantaneous that your mind will grab hold of it and run along a track of thought, and you will be in your head thinking about something, or worse, worrying about something. As soon as you realize you are thinking, immediately return to taking in the sensory information again; just noticing, just watching, just witnessing the direct sensory information.
Repeatedly pull yourself back again to the sensory information each time you realize you are thinking. Practicing this while not in a lovemaking situation will prepare you for doing this during lovemaking, and you should find that you no longer have erection difficulties.
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