I want to have sex with him
October 6, 2008 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I have been dating this guy for a few weeks and I have had sex with two guys and he is a virgin. He is pretty religious. I don’t really know where he stands about sex before marriage and I’m too embarrassed to ask. And I feel awkward trying to make advances towards him. I want to have sex with him but I don’t know what to do about this whole situation, please help.
ANSWER
My belief is that being open and honest about what is really going on will be the only way to enter into a relationship with any chance of surviving in the long term. If you don’t care about that then it doesn’t really matter if you communicate your needs and desires and true feelings. If it turns him off and he leaves, by your own admission that does not matter.
On the other hand, if you do care about a longer term relationship then telling him what you need and desire (and sharing some of your past behaviours) will set the stage to find out if you are compatible. If you use deceit to keep him around longer, eventually your dark secrets will be revealed and then he is likely to leave because the relationship was built upon a foundation of shifting sand and cannot sustain commitment and honesty and will not provide support for the ongoing emotional, psychological and spiritual growth that will become increasingly important as you advance in age and maturity.
Tell all and if that scares him away, better to find out now rather than later, unless you have years to waste playing games.
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