I'm a 19-year-old, single girl. I think about sex a lot. Sometimes I have a strong desire for it that makes me crazy! But I don't want to lose my virginity before marriage. Also masturbation is not acceptable in my religion. Please tell me what to do. I can't tolerate it anymore.

 
ANSWER

I empathize with your problem. Sexual desire is a very strong force and it's a good one too — without it there'd be no more people on the planet!

Although many religions say that masturbation is not a good thing, I think this comes mostly from the idea long ago that a man should not waste his seed. He should be using it for making children, not that the act of self-pleasuring is in itself a bad thing.

In ancient Eastern cultures masturbation was an acceptable practice that helped one learn about one's sexual arousal and as a pleasurable alternative to risking unwanted pregnancy. Also, the idea is that human bodies are microcosms of the universe, so that when one is making love to oneself, one is making love to the world.

However, if you really feel that masturbation is not something you can allow yourself to do because of shame and guilt, you can learn to work with your sexual energy and circulate it throughout your system as a healing and energizing force. This practice is good to continue when you become sexually active as well.


Try this:


When you are feeling sexually aroused (or even in unaroused states), squeeze your genital muscles, as if you had to go to the bathroom but were somewhere that you couldn't.

As you squeeze, take a slow breath and visualize sending the sensations you are feeling in your genitals up your back, along your spine, to the top of your head. You might picture a water wheel or a beam of light to help you.
 

Exhale and allow the energy to flow down the front of your body back to your genitals. Smile as you send the energy down the front, this will bathe your organs in loving light.


At first you may not feel the energy move in your system, but if you persevere you will notice something. You may feel pleasurable sensations. Don't look for anything in particular, just observe what happens.


This practice will take the edge off your sexual tension and will give you more energy for your daily life.

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