How do you stop the cycle of lousy sexual experiences that include pump stopping comments like "What are you doing?..Are you almost finished?…I'm not comfortable doing that"

Answer

Here is a simple sexual learning technique that can help get away from the scenario you describe.
 

A or B Game

Try two different versions of touch, intercourse, music, etc. Refer to one as A and one as B. Ask which (s)he likes best. This avoids the hurt when someone tells you they do not like something. Repeat as often as wanted to learn each other’s arousal and orgasmic responses. You can use this technique during any lovemaking, but we suggest you set aside times when your intention is not to progress in your lovemaking to orgasm, but rather your intention is only to learn about each other. This removes any performance anxiety and can really be lots of fun if you keep it very light and playful. Repeat this as a learning exercise at least three of four times per year, or more if you discover that you both really like it.

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

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