It was my first time and I just couldn’t do it
May 14, 2008 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I have been going out with my boyfriend for the past 7 months and recently we tried to have sex. It was my first time and I just couldn’t do it, so I asked him to stop while he was just penetrating his penis. It looks like I lost my virginity because I bled for 2 days right after that experience. Is that Normal? Does it always hurt?
I’ve been hearing about orgasms but I really don’t know what it means. Please help me understand?
ANSWER
Pain from intercourse can be related to a number of things. If you are small and he is very large, for instance. Occasionally, a woman may have a physical reason for uncomfortable intercourse–have you had a gynecological examination at any time by a doctor?
However, the most common cause for painful intercourse is that the woman is not ready for penetration. When a woman is highly aroused her vagina becomes well-lubricated and more elastic, so that it can expand to accommodate the penis. This means that you and your boyfriend need to spend lots of time talking affectionately, kissing, petting, caressing each other before he even thinks about penetrating you with his penis. Oral sex is wonderful for arousing both women and men. Also he can try gentle penetration with his fingers. The key point for him to understand is to go very, very slowly and be very gentle.
You want to be make sure you are relaxed everywhere in your body. If you tense up, particularly your vaginal muscles, it will be uncomfortable for you. Make sure you really, really want him inside you before you try intercourse. If you don’t produce enough vaginal lubrication on your own, you can also help with lubricants like Astroglide or Wet.
I urge you to take your time. Go very slowly and very gently. Our ebook: "Awakening Women’s Orgasm" will give you both lots of great information. You can buy it here: Tantra-sex.com
Also we have some free articles about how to make love to a woman at this page: Tantra-Sex Free Articles Look under the Articles by Al and Pala section.
All aspects of lovemaking, including intercourse, can be extremely fabulous. It’s worth learning how to become skillful lovers.
All the best
Pala
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