Why is delaying orgasm or trying to focus on your partner’s pleasure such a revolutionary idea?
April 14, 2008 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
Why is delaying orgasm or trying to focus on your partner’s pleasure such a revolutionary idea? Why do people talk about this as though it’s something totally foreign, that can only be attained through study? Isn’t this sort of the point of having sex (or, at least, making love vs. just sex), i.e. coming at the same time that your partner does?
ANSWER
It is a mistake to focus on what you don’t want. An axiom of every spiritual practice that I am aware of is that you focus on what you do want, because you get more of what you pay attention to. So if a man focuses on not ejaculating, he is actually focusing on what he does not want, i.e., ejaculating, so ironically he will get quicker ejaculations. Rather, we teach men to focus on moving, circulating and exchanging sexual energy, upon opening the heart to feel, give and receive love. Women are instructed on how to let go of shame and guilt by opening their hearts and also by accepting pleasure as a good thing. Both are instructed on going beyond simple physical pleasure by offering their lovemaking as a spiritual act to help them remember that they are God/Goddess—to awaken to the enlightenment. Both acquire the knowledge and skill of mature adult lovemaking to a level that eventually their lovemaking becomes an art. This is rare indeed, but making such a transformation in the bedroom will completely transform your relationship with your beloved and with the rest of your life, bringing lasting happiness, fulfillment, and spiritual awakening into your life. It is possible for couples to learn how to create love that will last a lifetime and satisfy them through and through.
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