Fantasies provide opportunities to explore all aspects of sexuality with a lover you trust in a situation that is safe, even though some fantasies might involve danger, violence, or taboos. Suggested guidelines for exploring fantasy:

• No-one gets hurt—no means no, and stop means stop.

• Discuss your fantasy in advance and agree to terms and limits.

• Use fantasies that bring you closer together and into the moment—don’t use fantasies that threaten your relationship or take you away from the here and now.

Time for Exercise: a few minutes or all day and night

Properties Required: varies with the fantasy

Tie-ups – Blindfolds – Masks – Costumes

Greet your lover at the door in various costumes: bathrobe with nothing underneath; a mask; bra, panties, garter belt and stockings, and high heels; birthday suit; a tie only; top only; bottoms only; just your socks; thong; war paint on face; body paint with no clothes; or chocolate and whipped cream in special places, no clothes.

 

Role Plays - Situational Fantasies
Suggested Characterizations: cheerleader, prostitute, dominatrix, airline steward, doctor, nurse, golf pro, dance instructor, fitness trainer, kidnapper.

Suggested Role Plays:

1.Seduction of delivery person, salesperson, milkman, service person, census taker, meter reader, or any stranger coming to your door.

2.Dress up as same sex and stage a chance meeting for lovemaking.

3.Employees’ clandestine sexual encounter in photocopy room, bathroom, closet, etc.

4.Shopping in a store at closing, you are last one in the store; storeowner locks the door…

5.Shopping in a clothing store, you are trying on lingerie in the fitting room. The light goes off and a stranger enters the room with you…

6.Attending an interview, you seduce the person interviewing you.

7.Waiter/waitress invites you into the back room for a quickie…

8.You are eating in a restaurant; you pass a note inviting the waiter/waitress to join you in your car for a quickie…

9.You are at a dinner party; a stranger seated next to you begins to touch you under the table…

10.You are teenagers making out in the theater balcony.

11.Get into your car (parked in your driveway); make love as if you were at a drive-in movie theatre.

12.You stop at a red light at a busy intersection. You make eye contact with the person driving the car stopped next to you in the other lane. She follows you for a short distance and motions for you to pull over. She gets into your car and you have a wild sexual encounter.

13.You have experimented with some drug and have lost all of your inhibitions. You are willing to do anything with your lover.

14.You are detained over night in the local jail and you seduce your cellmate.

15.You are abducted and ravished by an alien space invader.

16.You are acting in a stage play or cinema movie. During the rehearsal, performance, or filming of a love scene, you really make love, even though you were only expected to pretend.

17.You are participating in a sexuality research project. You make love while someone watches through a one-way mirror.

18.You are out with your lover at a swingers’ club. The easy nudity and open sexuality, including intercourse, turn you on. You slip under the table and make love. You surprise each other, because you have never imagined behaving like this.

19.You are buying fresh produce at the local supermarket. You ask if they have any fresh arugula, and the produce man invites you into the back to pick out what you want. You unzip his pants and pick out more than arugula.

20.Meeting a stranger while swimming in the community pool or at a public beach, you make love in the water.

In addition to stimulating your creative consciousness, sexual fantasy also encourages you both to become emotionally vulnerable and transparent. By revealing your fantasy you risk disapproval, judgment, or rejection but win over anxiety.

For more sexy fantasy ideas, check out these books by Laura Corn, 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex and 101 Nights of Grrreat Romance.

Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007

Available at Amazon.com

Also available as an eBook in pdf for Adobe Reader, prc for MobiPocket, or on CD.




 Check also at Amazon.com, Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying (Paperback) by Ram Dass


 
 

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra