Completely Committed

Time for Exercise: 15 minutes

Properties Required: none

Steps:

1.Explain to your partner what your commitment means.

2.Give evidence that supports your statement and shows your commitment. Below are examples of evidence that commitment is real. The items on this list are not all required. They are examples to help get the exercise going. Each couple will express their commitment in their own way. There are no rules about commitment. The most important thing about commitment is that you are in agreement about it. For example, in some relationships, neither partner is ready for 100% commitment.

Merging of finances
Names on property titles
Shared bank accounts
Beneficiaries in wills and insurance policies
Legal marriage
Having or adopting children
Sleeping together
Fidelity
Personal sacrifices on the other’s behalf
Giving up something you want so your lover can have what he wants

Admitting when you are wrong rather than always trying to win every argument

Asking: “How can I help?”
Offering: “Let me do that for you.”
Confiding in your lover when you are hurting or afraid
Admitting: “I don’t know.”
Asking for what you want
Saying “yes” whenever you can, and “no” when you must

Trying new things together
Surviving hardship
Trust—for example, when the evidence makes your partner look bad, you know: “That can’t be all the evidence.”

Not putting up with your partner’s bullshit, but calling her on it (in a loving way)

Forgiving your lover when he has made a mistake
Treating him with kindness, respect, and fairness

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