Mind Freedom Exercise (13): The Whine Cellar

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Do you catch yourself whining and complaining needlessly about what ails you and what you don’t like? Do you notice your lover doing the same? Whining and complaining rarely elicit compassion from those around us but rather tend to annoy everyone. Certainly it is necessary to deal with real problems, remove blockages, overcome difficulties, and find solutions, but whining does not help the process. The Whine Cellar technique is a simple, elegant, tactful, and respectful way to get rid of whining every time it rears its annoying head.

Set the stage for using this technique by agreeing to give each other permission to identify when the other is whining and to catch your own whining as much as possible and to stop.

Time for Exercise: one minute

Properties Required:  none

Steps:

1.When you realize you have been whining, own up to it by naming what you were doing. For example, say to your partner: “I just listened to myself and realized that I have been whining.”

2.Banish your whining to the Whine Cellar, never to be heard or seen again. Say to your lover: “I am just going to drop this whole business into the Whine Cellar.”

3.If you catch your partner whining, say as tactfully as you can, “It sounds like whining and complaining to me. Can we just drop this into the Whine Cellar?”

Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007

Available at Amazon.com

Also available as an eBook in pdf for Adobe Reader, prc for MobiPocket, or on CD.

 Check also at Amazon.com, Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying (Paperback) by Ram Dass

 
 

Al Link and Pala Copeland

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra