January 11, 2008
How can I reassure my boyfriend that I was a virgin?
How can I reassure my boyfriend that I was a virgin if I did not bleed with our first experience of sexual intercourse?
ANSWER
Not every woman bleeds the first time she has intercourse. In fact, many don’t. There are lots of ways the hymen (the “skin cover” or very thin membrane that partially covers the opening to the vagina) can be stretched or broken—everything from using a tampon for menstrual periods, to penetration with fingers during foreplay, to sports activities or vigorous exercise.
There is no way to determine if a man is a virgin. So, just as you must trust him if he tells you he’s never had sex before, he must trust you as well. Trust is the foundation of a good marriage.
Also, remember to use condoms for safer sex. And, to make intercourse more enjoyable for you, it will be very good if you are highly aroused and excited before he goes inside you. The more aroused you are the “wetter” your vagina will be, allowing for easier penetration. Ask him to take time with lots of kissing and sexy touching before intercourse. You can also use water-based lubricants like Astroglide to help make a smoother entry.
A good site that gives lots of information about sex is: www.sexuality.org
A good site that gives lots of information about sex is: www.sexuality.org
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