How can I learn to last longer before I ejaculate?

"How can I learn to last longer before I ejaculate? I have heard that 2-5 minutes is an average time males last, but that is not acceptable for me or my partner."

Answer:

Several minutes might be average, but who wants to be average. With some disciplined effort you can learn to delay your ejaculation indefinitely, thus making your ejaculation response completely voluntary. Then you ejaculation only if and when you want to.

Here are two by free articles by Al Link and Pala Copeland (also your hosts on this AskAboutLoveAndSex Blog), that can help you learn how to do this.

 Voluntary Ejaculation

 Simple Techniques for Masturing Ejaculation

Here are several books with additional information.

 Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy
by Mantak Chia, Michael Winn

Mantak Chia is a master who gives detailed descriptions of the "how-to" of moving sexual energy. The methods he proposes are very disciplined, so work best for people who like structure and have lots of patience and self-discipline. This book is also good for individuals, not in relationship, because so much of the work is done on one’s own. Because Chia’s work derives from the Taoist tradition (as opposed to Tantric) there is more emphasis on the physical and practical than the mystical, emotional aspects of the work.

 The Multi-Orgasmic Man : Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know
by Mantak Chia, Douglas Abrams Arava

The Multi-Orgasmic Man is an excellent step-by-step how-to manual for achieving sexual ecstasy. Don’t let the title fool you, this book is for women as well as men. Here are some quotes from the book that describe the benefits of Sexual Kung Fu. But to get the benefits you have to do the work. This book shows you how to do the work. I have used the techniques, which are also in Chia’s more advanced earlier text, Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, for the past 12 years. My partner and I now teach workshops to pass on the word.

 Ejaculation Control Manual for Extended Lovemaking
by David Routh and Tom Newhouse

This book gives instructions and exercises to help a man learn how to maintain an erection indefinitely for extended lovemaking.

How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking)
by Barbara Keesling

A reader from California: When I first saw the title, I sneered. But curiosity impelled me to at least give it a glance. Dr. Keesling is not kidding. This book is no joke. It is a clear, systematic, organized approach to what for most men is only a daydream. It is also an approach to what a good many women have said in no uncertain terms was just what they wanted. It is also outrageously funny. But do what she says and it will work!

How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation
by Helen Singer Kaplan

Booknews, Inc:
Guidance for the layman by a respected professional.

The New Male Sexuality
by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D.

Synopsis: The extraordinary successor to the classic Male Sexuality, which has more than 600,000 copies in Bantam mass market print. Unlike other books on sexuality, this guide pulls together the latest information on sexual dysfunction, enhancing pleasure, and improving communication between men and women.

4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra

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