Is she really ready?
October 26, 2007 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
I have this problem anytime I wanna have sex with this girl. I do all the things I have to do to rev her up and she responds up to the point where she wants it, and badly too, but then when it’s time to go in, it just won’t go in. I mean she’s so tight down there and I really don’t wanna hurt her, so I always stop. Even though we’re both on the edge and she wants it hot. FYI, she’s not a virgin, and I’m not that terribly big down there either.
Answer:
First of all, is she really, really ready? You can tell because she’ll be very wet. Besides being well lubricated, her vagina will also begin to expand when she’s very excited. If she’s not very wet, chances are she isn’t as excited as she could be before penetration. Try some more loving foreplay. Gentle oral sex works wonders to excite and please a woman, and can bring her to orgasm before there’s any penetration at all. Make sure she’s not just saying she’s ready in order to please you.
Secondly, maybe she is thoroughly excited but is unconsciously tensing her vaginal muscles. Some women have learned to clench their vaginal muscles in order to reach orgasm. Others have had some sexual trauma or abuse in the past that causes them to tighten up when it’s time for intercourse. Help her to relax. Let her know it’s not just about "getting in there" for you. Experiment with genital massage to help her learn to relax her vaginal muscles. Get some good quality lubricant and very gently and very slowly massage her inner thighs, her groin creases, and then progress to her outer lips, her inner lips, and her clitoris. Ask her permission to slip a finger inside her and then with exquisitely slow movements slowly circle your finger around the inside of her vagina, moving deeper and deeper inside. Ask her how much pressure she wants you to apply. Take lots and lots of time. Ask her to relax her body, look deep into her eyes, tell her how great she is and how much you like doing this for her.
Lastly, I’m sure you’re using condoms and so you might need some additional lubricant to ensure a smooth entry. Buy the best you can afford. Refer to our webpage for some suggestions. Follow this link: http://www.tantra-sex.com/ep6.html
Al Link and Pala Copeland
4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
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