"Is this energy sex?"

        My question deals primarily with an attempt to better understand the girl I love, and perhaps myself, as well. Early on in our relationship, my girlfriend would often tell me of how she gets what she calls "butterflies" whenever we would hold hands, kiss or any such thing. I assumed that by butterflies, she meant the general feeling of happiness and contentment that we felt when around each other. But one day, she asked me very plainly whether I felt these butterflies, too. It was shortly thereafter that I realized that, aside from happiness and contentment, she was feeling a very physical sensation that I knew I did not share. She described it as being similar to what one feels when going down a steep hill or on a theme park ride, but obviously more sexual in nature and, depending on her level of arousal, more intense. When I told her I felt no such thing, she was genuinely surprised and perplexed. It's apparent that this feeling is an early stage, so to speak, of orgasm. What's confusing to me is that she can feel fairly strong sensations of pleasure when I simply touch her or look at her. She says she often gets these butterflies when she just thinks about me. We are both virgins and committed to abstinence until marriage, so we're not about to experiment in any way. I would just like to know how this works, and if it's normal that I don't feel the tangible pleasure she does. Is it true that women can feel more intense pleasure and for longer just by thinking about it than men can by stimulating themselves physically? Is this nature's way of balancing the burdens of birth, menstruation, and the plethora of other hardships women face? We patiently await your answer.

Answer:

There's lots of great stuff going on between your girlfriend and you! Here's a couple of simple explanations of what she's experiencing and some ways that you can learn to feel more as well.

1. Really great sex isn't just physical, it's also emotional and energetic. Human beings aren't just a solid physical body, they're an energy body as well. Eastern medical and spiritual practice is based on this understanding, for instance, acupuncture and acupressure, Reiki and therapeutic touch, Qi Gong, Feng shui, martial arts like Karate, all work with 'energy'. Some people have an easier time feeling their energy bodies and tuning in to the flow of energy through their system–I bet your girlfriend is one. You can experiment with building and sensing energy in your own system with this simple exercise:

• Focus all your attention on your dominant hand

• Allow sensations to build in your hand as you focus on it (you may feel tingling or heat)

• When you feel sensation in your hand put your attention into your shoulder, then into other parts of your body and see if you can experience that sensation moving from one spot to the next

When you learn to work with energy in your own system you can learn to share it with another (either sexually or non-sexually)

2. Women have erogenous zones all over their bodies, while men's sexual excitement tends to be primarily genitally focused. You can extend your erotic zones by this simple practice. When you are masturbating, leave one hand on your genitals and use your other hand to touch other parts of your body–gently trace your fingers around your nipples, place your hand on your heart center (in the center of your chest–this will help connect lust with love), put your fingers in your mouth, stroke your inner thighs, and so on.

3. If you want to learn about working with your sexual energy, our ebook "Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms" will show you the way. You can learn the techniques on your own, then, when you're ready to consummate your marriage you'll be able to do so with confidence and skill. You can check it out here:

http://www.tantra-sex.com/EjaculationMastery.html

We also have an ebook for women, called "Awakening Women's Orgasm" that will help your girlfriend learn about all the pleasure she can experience as well: http://www.tantra-sex.com/womenorgasm.html


If ebooks aren't your style, then our print book "Soul Sex: Tantra for Two" will give you great preparation for an amazing sexual life and a great relationship. Check it out at Amazon.com by following this link:

http://www.tantra-sex.com/recommends/SoulSexAmazonUSA/

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