How can I get my partner to experiment with anal sex?
October 22, 2007 by Al Link
Filed under Questions and Answers
"How can I get my partner to experiment with anal sex?"
Answer:
There is an art to anal sex which requires learning technique and developing skill over time with practice. The first step is to gain your partner’s agreement to explore anal sex, with an understanding that you both have to learn some things if it is to be a wonderful pleasurable experience. Include a discussion of each partner’s beliefs and assumptions, as well as any fear that may be present.
Most sophisticated lovers do learn the art of anal sex and do enjoy it immensely. Unfortunately many people, both men and women, have strong taboos against anal sex. Many fear anal penetration for a number of reasons. For example, it may have overtones of homosexuality between male lovers, or that it is hygienically dangerous. Others hold religious beliefs which condemn anal sex as sinful.
Here is an excerpt from the entry on sodomy from Wikipedia.
Sodomy…is a term used particularly in law, and with wider local currency, to describe an act of sexual intercourse except copulation. The term comes from the Ecclesiastical Latin: pecatum Sodomiticum, or "sin of Sodom". The expression has biblical origin and was used to characterize sexual acts that were attributed to citizens of ancient Sodom and Gomorrah.
The term includes all sexual acts other than coital sex between a male and female. Although not gender specific by definition, in common use sodomy generally refers to homosexual intercourse between males.
In its widest definition ‘sodomy’ refers to anal penetration, oral sex, masturbation and paraphilia. The term is also sometimes used to describe human-animal sexual intercourse (also known as bestiality or zoophilia); this is the primary meaning of the cognate German language word Sodomie.
In current usage, the term is particularly used in law. Sodomy laws forbidding certain types of sex acts have been instituted in many cultures. In the various criminal codes of United States of America, the term ‘sodomy’ has generally been replaced by ‘Deviant sexual intercourse’, which is precisely defined by statute. These laws have been under challenge and have in places been found unconstitutional or have been replaced with different acts. Some countries, particularly in Africa, the Middle East and southern Asia retain ‘sodomy laws’ against homosexual acts. Elsewhere the legal use of the term ‘sodomy’ is restricted to rape cases where an act such as anal penetration has taken place.
The English term buggery is very closely related to sodomy in concept, and often interchangeably used in law and popular speech.
Of course there are hygienic precautions that must be taken, including the use of a latex barrier such as a condom, finger cot (small condom for covering fingers), or dental dams, and washing the area afterwards. Many lovers prefer to do an enema cleansing before anal sex.
Here is an excerpt about anal sex and hygiene from Wikipedia.
There are many health problems that can result from practicing unsafe rimming, because of the presence of bacteria, viruses or parasites on or in the anus or rectum. These include Hepatitis A, Hepatitis C, intestinal parasites, chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, and other sexually transmitted diseases. Applying the mouth to the genitals immediately after applying it to the anus can inadvertently introduce the bacterium Escherichia coli (‘E. coli’) into the urethra, causing a urinary tract infection. HIV/AIDS is not believed to be easily transmitted through rimming, but experts assert that there is a risk of acquiring HIV from rimming.
Precautions:
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Wash the area thoroughly with soap and water before and after anal penetration.
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Never mix or bring into contact the fluids or material from the anus with any other opening of the body, particularly the vagina, urethral opening of the penis, or mouth. You can protect the mouth in performance of analingus, also called rimming (licking the anus) by inserting a dental dam (thin layer of plastic, e.g., saran wrap) between the mouth and anus. Protect the penis with a condom. Never insert a finger or penis that has been in the anus into the vagina or mouth without first washing thoroughly.
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Never insert anything into the anus that can disappear and get lost inside. This can cause serious injury. Anal beads, commonly sold in sex shops, are strings of small beads evenly spaced along a string, designed for anal penetration. They always have a length of string with a ring at the end. This ring always remains outside the anus and is used to pull the beads out of the anus at the instant of climax. This greatly extends the climax for both men and women. Anal but plugs always have an enlarged base which remains outside the anus and that base is the grip used for withdrawing the but plug when the pleasuring is ended.
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Always use lots of lubricant with anal penetration, for example water-based or silicone lubricant, massage oil or KY Jelly, because, unlike the vagina, the anus does not have any natural lubrication. There are many lubricants designed specifically for anal penetration.
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If you will be inserting a finger inside the anus without the protection of a finger cot, be sure that all fingernails are well clipped. The tissues inside the anus are fragile and can be easily damaged by sharp fingernails.
When both lovers agree to experiment with anal sex, then the next step is to undertake learning some new knowledge and skill. The best way to do that is to learn from books, videos and workshops. The New School of Erotic Touch has a membership site featuring many exceptional streaming videos from which you can learn about the pleasure of anal sex as safe, mature and sophisticated way. You can also purchase the video tutorials for home viewing.
You can find a large selection of toys and enhancements for anal sex at our 4 Freedoms Sex Toys Warehouse. We particularly recommend anal butt plugs and anal beads.
Butt Plugs
The original butt plug was made of rubber, but now you can find them made from all types of material from silicone to glass to jelly. They also come in all sizes from small and thin, to giant huge butt plugs. Butt Plugs now also come with vibration and some of the most popular ones are inflatable.
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Anal Beads
One of the other most popular anal sex toys are anal beads (sometimes also referred to as climax beads). These are a series of beads attached to each other usually by a string. How to use anal beads: They are usually used by inserting the beads into the ass. Then during orgasm pull the beads out one by one for intense orgasmic sensations. There are all types of anal beads in all shapes and sizes and there are even vibrating beads available.
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With increased knowledge and skill, coupled with a healthy respect for hygiene, both lovers can open up a whole new world of sexual exploration and pleasure associated with anal sex.
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