October 7, 2007

Body Pleasure and Relationship – Body Freedom (Part 3 of 7)

"Body Pleasure and Relationship – Body Freedom"
(Part 3 of 7)

Fortunately, a mate relationship gives you a perfect arena in which to learn to overcome your negative body conditioning and to celebrate your body’s desires. When you are in a loving relationship, consciously sharing your body with another, you can become more at ease in your skin. Under the adoring gaze and lusty caresses of your mate you can learn to know your beauty from the inside out. A fulfilling sex life assists you to feel beautiful through channels that are both chemical (mood-altering endorphins) and emotional (the intimacy of desire). If you feel beautiful, you are.

As integral aspects of deep connection between lovers, pleasure, touching, and sex gain moral legitimacy and spiritual character in the context of monogamous relationship. Monogamous relationships provide a cocoon of commitment, a safe haven for learning the ways of Body Freedom. Consider, for example, touch as one of the most basic sources of pleasure. Touch isn’t optional for a good relationship, it’s essential. Studies dating back more than fifty years document that without touch human beings do not thrive. Without touch you can become emotionally withdrawn and physically and psychically ill. The absence of pleasure might induce emotional instability, possibly correlated with addiction, and encourage abusive, violent behavior. Relationships give you permission to explore touching in intimate ways that range from tenderly affectionate to passionately sexual. Physical pleasure becomes socially acceptable within the context of a relationship.

Affectionate touch and satisfying sex nourish you and your relationship. Sensual nutrition is not just in your head, and it’s definitely more than skin deep. As Lou Reed sings, “I think it’s chemical.” When you give and receive loving, sensual touch, endorphins and oxytocin surge through your system. Not only do these powerful chemicals make you feel great while you’re caressing but they also fuel the desire for more touches later. By upping your touch quotient, you can satisfy more than just your partner’s skin hunger; stress release, comfort, relaxation, and healing are all at your fingertips.

Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007

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